I am not ashamed to say that I have been single for most of my teen and young adult life. In theory, my partial misfortune may be due to the questionableness of my blackness as a nerd, but I want to undo the myths that cloud the desirability about blerds.

1. We are weird.

Thanks to poor depictions of blerds in cartoons and sitcoms, we have been seen as weirdos who collect bugs. Media goes overboard with our representation. I had to fight this stereotype in grade school because people were afraid to get to know me. Thankfully some people stepped out of their comfort zone to realize blerds are people too.

2. We are weak. 

In January 2017, a segment of BK CHAT (via YouTube) featured black women favoring their affection for bad boys. They referenced that blerds are weaklings who could not stand up for themselves. Granted, I understood their reasoning. They may live in hostile environment and want protection. Sadly, blerds are bullied and must endure the pain, but we are mentally strong because we are the ones fighting to be black excellence in spaces where they are not wanted in.

3. We are not "black enough."

I was bullied for years in grade school and had to prove my blackness. There were students who believed that I was not allowed to listen to music (at home). Unfortunately, at school I noticed popular black boys, who loved DragonBall Z and Naruto, had to hide their nerd-ness and live in hyper-masculinity. In other instances, I have been called out for sounding and acting white. Yes, most nerds love all cultures, but we should not be shamed for it.

4. We don't date black people. 

To each blerd is their own, but I do see blerds preferring Asian or white women. Even blerds in Men’s Rights Organizations do the same, but I will say that in some regards, we are not living up to hyper-masculinity or blackness, and I am sorry that some of us are anti-black because of our rejection. I love black women and want to date them. Granted I do not have 20 contacts on my phone of girls dying to be with me, but I do not lump black women as a stereotype because I want the same for myself. My goal is to persuade and compromise because we are both fighting the same battle.

5. We bring shame. 

In high school, I did try dating, and even thought I had girlfriends. There were awkward discoveries where I was accused of falsifying a relationship, even though I had asked them out and they agreed. One female friend was honest and said she was ashamed to be seen with me publicly because she did not want her friends to think that we were together. I have not talked to her since. In high school, I was the secret boyfriend that girls were not comfortable with in public.

Blerd culture is not something to fear, we are just as black, cool, fun and social as everyone else.