This whole testimony from Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump's disgraced and disbarred former attorney,  has us side-eyeing heavily . If you're late to the story, back in November Cohen plead guilty to lying to Congress about his his business dealings with the Trump campaign. As The Huffington Post reported, during his hearing Wednesday Cohen gave us a vivid picture of the "racist," "conman," and "cheat" that resides in the Oval Office. Here are the top 8 moments from Cohen's opening testimony that have us speechless:

1.  Cohen said, “Mr. Trump is a racist,” Trump said black people "were too stupid," and Trump implied any country run by a black person is a "s**thole."

“He once asked me if I could name a country run by a black person that wasn’t a ‘s**thole.’ This was when Barack Obama was President of the United States.”

“While we were once driving through a struggling neighborhood in Chicago, he commented that only black people could live that way."

“And, he told me that black people would never vote for him because they were too stupid.”

We appreciate Rep. Brenda Lawrence (D-MI) pointing out that it is "insulting" to argue Trump can't be racist because he can find one black person to defend him.

WOW — @RepLawrence *goes in* on Mark Meadows for citing one black Trump administration official to argue Trump can't be racist.

"To prop up one member of our entire race of black people and say that that nullifies [racist statements] is insulting," she says.

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) February 27, 2019

2. Trump avoided serving in Vietnam, said: "You think I'm stupid, I wasn't going to Vietnam."

“Mr. Trump claimed it was because of a bone spur but when I asked for medical records he gave me none and said there was no surgery. He told me not to answer the specific questions by reporters but rather offer simply the fact that he received a medical deferment."

"He finished the conversation with the following comment: ‘You think I’m stupid, I wasn’t going to Vietnam.’’'

3. Trump is not a patriot, saying "how stupid the government was for giving 'someone like him' that much money back."

“The sad fact is that I never heard Mr. Trump say anything in private that led me to believe he loved our nation or wanted to make it better. In fact, he did the opposite.”

“When telling me in 2008 that he was cutting employees’ salaries in half ― including mine ― he showed me what he claimed was a $10 million IRS tax refund, and he said that he could not believe how stupid the government was for giving ‘someone like him’ that much money back.”

4. Trump did not pay business owners for services and "he actually reveled in it."

“One of my more common responsibilities was that Mr. Trump directed me to call business owners, many of whom were small businesses, that were owed money for their services and told them no payment or a reduced payment would be coming. When I advised Mr. Trump of my success, he actually reveled in it.”

5. Trump said "wouldn't that be great" when he learned about the forthcoming "massive dump of emails [from Wikileaks] that would damage Hillary Clinton's campaign."

“In July 2016, days before the Democratic convention, I was in Mr. Trump’s office when his secretary announced that Roger Stone was on the phone. Mr. Trump put Mr. Stone on the speakerphone. Mr. Stone told Mr. Trump that he had just gotten off the phone with Julian Assange and that Mr. Assange told Mr. Stone that, within a couple of days, there would be a massive dump of emails that would damage Hillary Clinton’s campaign. Mr. Trump responded by stating to the effect of ‘wouldn’t that be great.’”

6. Cohen lied to Melania Trump about "an adult film star with whom [Trump] had an affair" saying it was one of his "biggest regrets."

“He asked me to pay off an adult film star with whom he had an affair, and to lie to his wife about it, which I did. Lying to the First Lady is one of my biggest regrets. She is a kind, good person. I respect her greatly and she did not deserve that.”

7. Trump "wrote a personal check for the payment of hush money" to Stormy Daniels.

“I am providing a copy of a $35,000 check that President Trump personally signed from his personal bank account on August 1, 2017 – when he was President of the United States – pursuant to the cover-up, which was the basis of my guilty plea, to reimburse me – the word used by Mr. Trump’s TV lawyer ― for the illegal hush money I paid on his behalf. This $35,000 check was one of 11 check instalments that was paid throughout the year – while he was President.”

“The President of the United States thus wrote a personal check for the payment of hush money as part of a criminal scheme to violate campaign finance laws.”

8. Cohen said he's done being Trump's “fixer”

“For those who question my motives for being here today, I understand. I have lied, but I am not a liar. I have done bad things, but I am not a bad man. I have fixed things, but I am no longer your ‘fixer,’ Mr. Trump.”

To top it all off, Cohen addressed Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Oh) about his multiple questions that seemed to nit-pick Cohen rather than address President Trump's alleged wrongdoing:

“I just find it interesting, sir, that between yourself and your colleagues that not one question so far… has been asked about President Trump. That’s actually why I thought I was coming today. Not to confess the mistakes that I've made. I've already done that.” –Michael Cohen

Stacey Plaskett is all of us looking at Jim Jordan, the last person who should address anyone’s character

— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) February 27, 2019


We feel you at Rep. Stacey Plaskett (D-NY).


Now, check these out:

Trump Allegedly Said Black People Were 'Too Stupid' To Vote For Him

'The Obama Effect' Has Doubled The Annual Amount Of Visitors To The Smithsonian's National Portrait Gallery

Former Black Female Trump Staffer Claims Trump Attempted To Kiss Her Without Consent