Imagine this:

you’re out and about with your dad and he stops and says, “Let’s take a video so I can post it to Snapchat!”.

Thank Goodness my dad still uses a Nokia, but I can’t get past how many older people are “hip” to younger marketed social media apps. I was recently recording a Snapchat video while I was hanging out in downtown Atlanta, when an older gentleman, I’ll give him about 48, approached me with the line, “What’s your Snapchat name so I can follow you!”

At that moment I never felt the need to want to be out of touch with something so badly. So here are 5 times when I wish adults over the age of 50 didn’t use social media.

Snapchat:

What exactly could be going on in the average over 50’s life that would warrant anyone wanting to see? Come watch me sip a milk shake with my kids, or follow me as I giggle at cat gifs! No, thank you.

Instagram:

This can go for millennials as well, but you are all aware no one wants to follow a page full of textgrams and memes, right? Maybe one or two, sure, but a profile full of cat pictures, sunsets and flowers with mundane text?! How about no, save it.

Facebook

Okay, great so we can co-exist on Facebook! It’s nice to be able to see your “likes” and random commentary to know you are still alive, and checking on me from time to time… but must you always have to find one post to embarrass us in front of our friends on? We’ve all had that one family member that comments on a picture you repost or butts into a funny conversation you and your friends are having saying things like, “You know employers are looking at you” or “Your mother didn’t raise you this way, I don’t want to see trash like this on my timeline!” … well, politely put, delete me.

Tinder

Now, finding love and hook ups shouldn’t be restricted by age. However, can the old crowd catch up with the Jones’ if you’re going to be here?! Most of my friends know I’m one that can be seen hanging out with the 30 and up crowd, but If I swipe right on an older gentleman, and he says,”So I’m not sure how this online dating thing works, what are the next steps?”.. Just do us all a favor, leave.

Dubsmash

WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS? WHO IS INTRODUCING YOU TO THINGS LIKE THIS? I think It’s absolutely hilarious to see older people rapping along to their favorite song on Facebook videos that I can choose not to watch, but do you think I’d like to see a 15 second clip of my aunt lip-syncing to Trina’s Baddest B* on any of my social media timelines?! No.

What are some social media apps you’d dread to see your parents, aunts and uncles on?

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Alicia Williams

Writing since April 2015 · 1 story contributed