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I vividly remember watching Scandal one Thursday night in 2013 as Rowan Pope yelled sternly at Olivia Pope. Angry that she had forgotten the lessons he taught her as a child, he reminded her, “You have to be twice as good as them to get half of what they have.”

Those words have always stuck with me; it is something my mother preached time and time again. As a young Black woman in this world, I am aware that nothing is given to me on a silver platter. I have to fight and scream in order to receive everything that I am owed. Throughout many stages of my life, I have always pushed myself to be twice as good as my non-Black peers. But what happens when you just cannot take it anymore? What happens when you are burnt out from always having to be better than everyone else around you to simply be acknowledged? What do you do when your life is ripped from you and you have to continue to fight from the grave? These questions all spun in my head as I heard about the death of Breonna Taylor.

On March 13, Breonna Taylor was shot eight times and killed as she slept in her own bed in Louisville, Kentucky. The officers, dressed in plain clothes, failed to knock on her door and announce that they had a search warrant. When the three police burst into her home, Breonna’s boyfriend assumed that they were intruders. He shot at the police and they retaliated by shooting at them 20 times. To this day, only one officer has been fired, none have been charged with any crimes.

Beyond the grave, Breonna Taylor has had to prove to the world that her life meant something. Still, it has not been enough. Her family has had to prove that she was twice as good, in hopes that she will receive justice. They have to tell you that Breonna was an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) who dedicated her life to helping people. They have to tell you that the police officers were at the wrong house, shooting at the wrong people. They have to show you their tear-stained faces, just for you — the world — to believe that Breonna’s life meant something.

Unlike the murderers of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd, her killers have still not been charged. If Black people as a whole have to work twice as hard, Black women have to work 10 times harder to receive justice in their lives.

So, I ask again, what happens when someone can no longer physically fight twice as hard to prove that they are worth something? What do we do now that Breonna’s name is no longer trending on social media? What happens when the protestors no longer chant her name? When the streets of Louisville forget that she mattered?

We can look at Sandra Bland, Kendra James, LaTonya Haggerty, Tyisha Miller, Shelly Frey, Bettie Jones, Shereese Francis, Rekia Boyd, Natasha McKenna, Charleena Lyles, Yvette Smith and Nia Wilson. Did you even know those names? Did they ever matter to you? America, I am sick and tired. America, I know Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, Oscar Grant, Eric Garner, Mike Brown and Philando Castile’s lives mattered too, but please do not forget about us. I am tired of working twice as hard for a community that does not work twice as hard to love me back. I am tired of working twice as hard for the world to see my humanity. I am tired of screaming “say her name, too” and watching her name fall on deaf ears.

I will never forget that my burden as a Black woman in this world is to work twice as hard. So, for you, Ms. Breonna Taylor, I will work twice as hard to ensure that you and young Black women coming up behind you will have their stories told and receive justice.

Gabrielle Battle

Writing since February 2022 · 1 story contributed