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Learning how to move on, not only from the people and places that we’ve outgrown, but also from old versions of ourselves is a practice of radical acceptance. If we become married to an outdated model of who we are at any moment, then we miss out on the joy of self-exploration and the growth of infinite self-discovery. You are a fluidly dynamic being who is meant to evolve and change. An inability to let go of your past, relationships and places that you’ve outgrown is an indication that you are tethered and held down by a version of you that no longer exists.

Letting go of old versions of myself that I’ve found comfort in, yet outgrown, taught me radical acceptance. I used to revel in the idea of being a version of me that had it all figured out. The perception of myself as someone who was crystal clear on who he was and what he wanted at every step of my life provided me with a false sense of comfort. It provided me with a false sense of security. Letting go of this old narrative has allowed me to re-evaluate some of my long-term goals and know that it is OK to do so. It has provided space for me to embrace possibilities that the false identity of having it all figured out may have previously limited me from. In this version of myself, I am creating room for the uncertainty. I am making space for the “I’m not sure what exactly may be next” and the “I don’t know right now, but I’ll eventually figure it out.”

Radically accepting the changes that occur inside of you allow you to invite and accept all the changes that occur outside of you. You live with the understanding that you can let go of the past because it has partly but not indefinitely shaped you. You’ve made peace with the fact that some relationships aren’t meant to exist forever. And you know that you will encounter moments that require you to move on from spaces that provide you with comfort.

I've learned that letting go starts with asking yourself three very essential questions.

Ajayi Pickering-Haynes

Writing since February 2022 · 1 story contributed