Car rides

Intercourse

Parties

and especially church.

Everything is a better time when music is involved.

Although I love music, it causes me to raise a new question almost daily. If one of you has the answers, splendid, problem solved. But hey, even if you don’t, it will make me feel a little less crazy to know I’m not the only confused one.

1. Did nobody catch this mistake in the studio?

Countless songs lead me to this question. Seriously. There are some songs that I only have to listen to one time before I catch a certain mistake. I’m not the pronunciation police by any means, but certain errors are just that blatant. My question is, how do artists record, re-record, play, and replay songs in the studio with producers, friends, etc. and nobody, not one solitary soul, catches the mistake?

You mean to tell me nobody said,

“Hey Tyga, what is a valentime? I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced valentine, big dawg.”

the first time he played “Deuces?”

What you’re telling me is nobody said,

“Bey, you might want to re-record that line right quick to pronounce the ‘r’ in the word ‘algebra’, sis.”

when she was creating “1+1”?

What you’re telling me is that nobody bothered to tell Ricky Rozay that Reebok’s slogan is not “Just Do It?”

2. How Is Trey Songz So Beautifully Disrespectful?

Trey Songz album Trigga was released in the summer of 2014, and an entire year later I still play it consistently. But contrary to most R&B albums, it didn’t make me want to fall in love at all. It actually made me never want to let a man near me. Likely because nearly the entire album was about breaking hearts (both on purpose and accident) and infidelious acts. One track was even entitled “Disrespectful,” which honestly would have been a suitable option for the album’s name as a whole.

There was only one song on the album that I thought was about pure love. One. And that song is track 14, “What’s Best For You.” Needless to say, I was pretty much wrong. He sings the tune of a “trife-uh-lin, good for nothing type of brotha” in this song as well, which didn’t hit me until watching the track’s music video.

The “What’s Best For You” video begins with him lying in bed half nude alongside a lady friend. He faces her while opening with the lyrics:

“Don’t make this hard for me.”

The first lady friend then disappears as he flips over to a brand spanking new lady friend:

“It’s not about who’s right or wrong.”

From this beginning piece alone it was clear to me that everything else he was going to say and do throughout this video would be chock full of crap. (Also, I find it important to note that I have found, in most cases, when someone claims that “It’s not about who’s right or wrong” it’s because they’re the one who is dead wrong.)

Anyway, the video continues on with shots of Tremaine and the first lady friend having an outdoor picnic with just one another. The two are engulfed in each other’s love; laying in the grass together, caressing one another’s faces, playing a childish game of basketball, just having an all around jolly good time. It’s utterly heartwarming even for a grinch like me.

That is until the video goes on to reveal Trey Songz having an identical picnic, in an identical location, engaging in nearly identical activities, with lady friend number two.

HOW YOU JUST GONE ACT LIKE YOU IN LOVE WITH BOTH OF THEM AND TAKE THEM ON THE SAME EXACT PICNIC DATE, TREY?!

The video takes a turn for the dramatic as it fades from the picnics and goes into a break-up scene. Two break-up scenes actually. Because mind you, he is breaking up with two different women. As he does so, both women on both separate occasions, shake their heads and cry into the heartbreaker’s very arms while he sings:

“I only want what’s best/I don’t wanna tell no lies/I don’t wanna make you cry”

But you were telling lies through the whole video Trey Songz. And now look, you made them both cry.

So I guess my question is.. why did it take me having to watch the video to realize that the one song on the album that I thought wasn’t about cheating, was actually definitely about cheating? Not only cheating, but cheating on the victim just to later break up with said victim? Or rather victims.

And a better question is, why does this video make me Diary of a Mad Black Woman type bitter, but I still can’t help but love the song and the entire album?

What magic did you throw on your album Tremaine?

3. How Genuine is Laughter on a Track, Really?

“The laugh” is an important component on many songs:

The Spice Girls’ opening laugh on their hit song “Wannabe.”
Lil Wayne’s chuckle that seems to follow every line he likely found witty.
Wiz Khalifa’s infamous laugh that is featured on 99.9 percent of all his tracks.

Now, I don’t mean to suck the fun out of hearing laughs on records, but I’m definitely about to suck the fun out of hearing laughs on records.

What I wonder every time I hear these burst of joy on songs is, how many times did they have to redo that noise? I just picture the producer saying “Let’s get that laugh one more time, Wiz, this time with a little more emphasis!” Are they even really smiling anymore when they hit us with their laugh? By take six of the laugh I imagine they’re pretty much over it. Imagine artists thinking they finally got “the laugh” just right and then being told

4. Why Can’t Rappers Just Smoke Their Weed?

I don’t mean this as a way to say ¨Fight the power! Why can’t the U.S. just legalize marijuana?¨ That is not the issue or question at hand whatsoever my friends.

What I AM asking, however, is why can’t rappers just smoke their weed and that’s all?

In several songs rappers claim to smoke marijuana, and then they directly precede or follow the partaking of said drug with a spiritual act. Yes, y’all, I said several songs. Now many of you who haven’t made this observation will probably assume that I’m exaggerating, but au contraire my dear, observe as I present to you:

Exhibit A : Pharrell Williams – “You Can Do It Too”

“Read Job verse two, inhale the oo..”

Exhibit B : Wiz Khalifa – “Erryday”

“Light a J and say a prayer for my enemies..”

Exhibit C : Kendrick Lamar ft. BJ the Chicago Kid – “Kush & Corinthians (His Pain)”

I believe the title speaks for itself. But for those of you who would like to refute that by saying ẗhere is no verb between the ¨kush¨ and Corinthians¨ let’s read the last line together, church.

“...so I’m smoking my kush reading Corinthians.”

If you’ve got the answers, comment below. Help me sleep peacefully tonight.

Desia is a 21-year-old female Richmond, Virginia native studying public relations at George Mason University. She currently runs her own personal blog: http://www.when140aintenough.com.

Desia Gore

Writing since January 2016 · 1 story contributed