My journey to self-love has been nothing but exhilarating. Some moments are rewarding and oftentimes difficult to accept and swallow but that’s all part of the journey. As of late, I’ve been hypersensitive to people, my surrounding, and the way those factors affect my mental state since Trump was elected. I don’t know about y’all but it is still surreal to me that he is our president. Because of this, I’ve amped up my self-love(care) routine, because I'll "Kuck If You Buck" before anybody puts me into a toxic state of mind. The questions posed below were and still is the foundation of my journey. A thorough assessment of what I wanted to accomplish for myself and beyond. I hope these questions and answers help guide you to your ultimate truth and most authentic self.

What does self-love mean to you?

Self-love for me, I’ve realized, is about the positive and constant appreciation I have for myself and those I choose to love. I’ve chosen and still choose every day to accept myself even when I don’t want to. I’m aware of my ego and how that, at times, hinders me from acknowledging and seeing myself, so I try to love myself through that and past that. The people I love reflect the love I have for myself and that’s the key. The moment my surrounding start to feel stifling or toxic, I retreat, reassess and adjust accordingly.

How is that reflected in your day to day life?

I try to be present and aware. Maintaining a healthy mindset is vital. I encourage myself. I tell myself positive affirmations at least twice a day through reminders on my phone. As soon as I wake up, my 7 A.M reminder tells me I'm beautiful, worthy, smart and capable. I think once we can control our mind and train it to think positively about the way we want to feel about ourselves, it becomes easier to naturally implement that in the day to day. I also take weekly measures to take care of myself physically, mentally and emotionally. Every week I make sure to take care of my skin. I do face masks to clean to detox my face. I go to yoga at least three times a week to boost my mood and clear out any bad energy. I get a mani-pedi just about once a month. I think maintaining a self-care routine is a reminder that you are actively pursuing the journey of self-love.

Is there a difference in the way you loved yourself before and after trump?

Hell yes, there’s a difference and change in the way I’ve loved myself after Trump’s election. That change being that I am now more than ever careful about the content I watch on him. I hardly watch his press conferences because I fear my eyes might get stuck from rolling them so hard. So I pick and choose them battles, too. I read more content about him than I watch because his foolishness truly breaks me out. So I choose to love me and not interact with his mess — something I didn’t deal with when Barack was president.

How does Trumps presidency change your perspective on love?

It doesn’t. I’m completely aware that he has no love in his heart for anyone but himself and I can’t let that affect me. It’s as simple as that. And I urge everyone to continue to value and cherish themselves despite the lack of love, respect, and compassionate he lacks.

How do you maintain self-love?

I maintain self-love by keeping a journal to reflect my thoughts. I put myself first because I know no one will do it for me. I surround myself with people that remind me of who I am in the same light I see myself which is key. And most importantly, I stay connected to God. I root all my concerns with him and leave the rest to the universe.

What advice do you have for those who don't love themselves?

I think acknowledging that you don’t love yourself is the biggest and first step. I remember when the epiphany dawned on me that I wasn’t valuing myself. It was an awful feeling but it was a problem I made a priority to fix it. The second step is to take time and peel back the layers of yourself to find out what makes you unique. For the longest, I struggled with my gap. I wanted to close it, for no particular reason, but eventually, I grew to love it. Then others grew to love it and cherish me for it. So the journey to self-love takes time but it’s not impossible. You just have to be willing to go on that journey with yourself. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Having a team of people pushing you towards the finish line goes a long way.

Ezi Mgbeahuruike

Writing since January 2017 · 1 story contributed