We've all been there. The feeling of uncertainty when you've been dating a particular person "exclusively" for a few months just to be coaxed into "going with the flow" or remaining title-less. A situationship is what it's called. This confusing recipe contains all the actions and feelings of a regular romantic relationship without the title or commitment. Sometimes restrictions are one-sided, allowing one party to do as he pleases while the other maintains a sense of loyalty. Whoever's feelings are least invested has the upper-hand and calls the shots. Thankfully, there are ways to avoid this confusing concoction of mixed feelings and indecision in the very beginning of the dating relationship.
The initial stages of dating sets the tone for situationships. Invested time is a very important factor and a key ingredient to this all too common debacle. Invested time without exclusive commitment will create a host of confusion. When initially dating you must put limits on the time you spend together (yes I said it), this includes engaging in over the phone conversations and meeting up. Your crush's presence may cause common sense to leak out of you like a tire losing air, but stay focused. It may seem flattering initially, but when you are constantly entertaining someone you are no longer a challenge, you become a guarantee. Note that you should not be speaking to a suitor on a daily basis nor should you make yourself overly available. Too much time spent together in the beginning stages will have you both falling into feelings quite quickly. Note that constant availability is reserved for a relationship, not someone who you are just dating and generically getting to know. This constant need for communication is typically rooted by physical attraction or infatuation, nothing deeper.
Dating the right way will also allow you to dodge the makings of a situationship. Dating properly is also connected to the factor of invested time. You should be dating multiple people at once, DATING (don't get me wrong) not sleeping with. Spreading your time and attention among multiple suitors will add some fun to the whole dating experience, and forces you to get to know people. Options create boundaries and therefore, you won't get so caught up in one suitor too quickly. When one option starts acting up you can be on to the next one because feelings aren't deeply invested. A lack of attachment will result in emotional control and a smooth bounce back (Big Sean voice) from disappointment.
Last but not least, use sound judgment. If the suitor is acting wishy-washy or indecisive after you mistakenly invested too much time, cut ties. A situationship rarely will if ever become an actual relationship. Men are straight forward and pursue who they want without hesitation. So keep an eye on the clock, a few gentleman callers in stock, and your head above your heart. Date on and be strong!
