Sorry Gilmore Girls fans, there’s still a few weeks left of summer and instead of applying an expected hot girl mentality to the season, Black Gen Zs are craving intimate connections that stand the test of time. 

Problem is, they don’t know how to forge those kinds of relationships. According to a report with eharmony’s latest data, 75% of Gen Z say when dating someone, they find it difficult to build an ‘emotional connection’ with them, compared to 77% of Millennials and 73% of non-white participants.

Why are relationships harder than ever for Black Gen Zs, and what can young people do to help find the connections they want?

We spoke to harmony relationship expert, licensed social worker, and mental health educator Minaa B., MSW, LMSW, to determine the demographic’s dating woes.

Why do you think more Gen Z are looking to find committed relationships this summer? 

MB: With the increase in loneliness, more people, especially Gen Z, are seeking ways to form deeper connections. Romantic relationships can be very fulfilling, which is why we might be seeing a spike in this age group looking for committed relationships. According to eharmony’s Dating Diaries report on Slow Dating, Gen Z and Millennials are planning to attend more social events to increase their chances of finding love. Gen Z has also been active in reducing the stigma around mental health and prioritizing wellness, so, it’s not surprising that they recognize the positive impact a romantic relationship can have on mental health as it can boost self-esteem, provide feelings of connection and intimacy, and offer support from a close partner

How do dating habits (especially hook up habits) differ between Gen Zs and other generations (namely, Millennials and Gen Alphas, who are just starting to date)? 

MB: When it comes to dating habits, Gen Z defines Slow Dating as building trust with someone before becoming physically intimate. Millennials define Slow Dating by building a meaningful emotional connection with someone. While approaches might differ slightly, Gen Z and Millenials are on the same page when it comes to consistently dating. Gen Z and Millennial singles believe that people should go on at least 2 in-person dates weekly with someone they are dating or interested in to actually build a romantic connection, which might be different from older generations that may have had more flexible requirements due to work schedules and other societal norms during their generation.

How are Gen Zs using dating apps differently than Millennials? 

MB: According to eharmony’s Dating Diaries report, a significant portion of Gen Z and Millennials plan to use dating apps to achieve their dating goals. Both Gen Z and Millennials might find using dating apps beneficial, because it aligns with their approach to Slow Dating and building trust and emotional connections. Dating apps can facilitate this by encouraging conversations that lead to deeper intimacy before physical contact.

What dating/hookup habits do you anticipate amongst Gen Z daters in the fall? Winter? 

MB: Since Gen Z daters are not shy about engaging in dating apps, this is often a reliable way to try to develop intimate connections with other potential daters. However, meeting potential matches through mutual connections is also a great way to connect, and based on eharmony’s latest report, 40% of Gen Z and 43% of Millennials plan to use this tactic. This is a great way to get to know someone because they have someone who can vouch for them. When you have a friend you can trust, you will also feel secure in knowing they have your best interest at heart when trying to set you up romantically with someone.

What advice would you give Gen Zs who are single and ready to mingle? 

MB: When dating, it’s easy to create a rigid checklist and expect the person you meet to check every box. Sometimes, that doesn’t happen, but it doesn’t mean you can’t create a meaningful relationship with that person. When dating, remember to be open-minded and treat it as a casual experience of getting to know someone. Be interested in learning about the things that make someone happy, their values, beliefs, goals, and interests, and don’t let your sole requirement be good looks.