We established that when talking about the black family dynamic, our aunties are the glue of the family. However, we can't forget our uncles too. The black family is filled with so many characters, I had to give it up for the uncles one time. Here are 15 uncles that can usually be found in the black family. Y'all get some love too.
1. Mack Daddy Uncle
Your uncle that had all the ladies back in the day, for some reason he thinks he can still get them. He'll probably try to talk to your friends. Always wearing a clean suit and a signature hat. Loves the Blues and his cologne is really strong. He probably drives a Cadillac and you can catch him with a bottle of Crown Royal.
2. Father Figure Uncle
Your uncle that treats his nieces and nephews like his own children. Did something positive with his life and ends up being the family example. His wife is a great cook. Gets on you about acting up in school and giving your mother a hard time, but it's only because he cares. Not very affectionate, but he's definitely a shoulder to cry on. Family means everything to him. Cries when he gets the whole family together.
3. Preacher/Deacon Uncle
Your uncle that has dedicated their life to serving the Lord. Everybody asks him to pray over the food. He always has a word from the Lord about your life. He also always asks you when you're coming to church and your best bet is to just go because he's not gonna stop asking you. Tries not to be judgmental, but might give you the side eye when he sees you throwing back lime-a-ritas. Quiet it's kept, he's a killer spades player.
4. Two Stepping Uncle
Your uncle that is always at the function dancing. He can hit a mean two step. Dances all night and doesn't even spill his drink. He thinks all the new music that's out is garbage cause he can't get jiggy with it. He keeps a Black 'N Mild tucked behind his ear. Even though he danced all night, he still found time to stash extra to go plates.
5. Crackhead Uncle
Your uncle who does or has struggled with his drug addiction. Everybody just wonders how he got to that point in the first place. Your shady auntie is definitely not letting him in her house. Gets cussed out a lot, especially cause he doesn't hesitate to ask his young nieces and nephews for a dollar. Don't worry though, he'll cuss you out right back because he has nothing to lose. Always getting arrested for something dumb.
6. Educated Uncle
Your uncle that went to college and actually finished. Mostly all of his brothers are proud of him for that. Maybe greek. Is doing well for himself and his family. Loves giving advice and trying to be motivational. Can talk too much sometimes. Encourages everyone to go to his alma mater and still loves talking about the great times he had there…30 years later.
7. Baller Uncle
Your uncle with all the coins. Lives in a kingdom far away (the real bougie suburbs). His wife makes everybody take their shoes off before they come inside the house. Every time you come over, he's telling your parents about his latest vacation and showing off some type of exotic liquor he got there. If he fools with you, he gets you dope Christmas presents. If he doesn't you get nothing. No in-between. Can sometimes get extra when he decides he wants to stunt on y'all.
8. Ex-Convict Uncle
Your uncle that's been in and out of jail for as long as you can remember. This time he's doing well because he found religion the last time he was locked up. May have read The Autobiography of Malcolm X and is on a conscious wave. He may also just be a Hotep preacher who never double checked his facts once he got out of jail. Usually, he's on strike 2.9999 so don't piss him off.
9. Thug Uncle
Your uncle that's been hood his whole life and is never going to change. Openly smokes weed and when saved auntie tries to say something to him about it, he tells her to mind her own business. Very protective of his nieces and nephews. Encourages you not to be like him and stay in school. He's honestly cool AF, but he also stays strapped so be careful.
10. Funny Uncle
Your uncle that's always clowning and couldn't be completely serious if his life depended on it. Everything he says is funny even when he's not trying to be. Low-key shady, but you know to just let it go because if you say something, that'll make it even worse.
11. Drunk Uncle
Your uncle that's always drunk on any occasion. Every time you are around him and his friends, there's a bunch of empty 40 oz cans and cheap liquor. You and your cousins' clown him because he's so extra and so out if it. He and Drunk Auntie either fellowship in their drunkness or they end up getting into it. He can be annoying, but he keeps the family functions interesting and entertaining so he always gets invited. By the end of the night, everyone is wondering when he had time to get that drunk
12. Grill Master Uncle
Your uncle that's on the grill at every family event. His food is often imitated but never duplicated. Also really good at frying fish. Has the complete grill master outfit including the sandals and apron. Gets upset when someone else tries to get on the grill and mess up what he's got going. Ends up wanting to cuss everybody out for leaving him hamburgers and hotdogs after he slaved on the grill all day.
13. Enlightened Uncle
Your uncle that's always spreading knowledge and dropping gems. Sometimes his theologies can be off, but you let him live because of all the times he's been right on the money. Encourages you to attend an HBCU. Has very heated debates with ex-convict uncle because ex-convict uncle thinks that he's more woke than everybody.
14. Republican Uncle
Your uncle that got some money and decided he was too good for the Democratic party. It used to be funny until everybody found out he voted for Trump. Tries to justify why he believes we must work together in order to create change, but nobody is trying to hear all that. Probably a doctor. Your grandmother will still get on everybody if they don't invite him to the cookout. Conscious Auntie calls him a coon.
15. Your Uncle That Still lives with Your Granny
Never moved out your grandmother's house. Always sitting in the living room with a beer and watching Wheel of Fortune when you come over. Loves asking you how school is going. Also, he loves asking why you never invite his son anywhere. You're just trying to figure out when he had time to go make children seeing as he's still living in your granny's house.
What other uncles are in your family? Let us know in the comments below.
