Experiencing a breakup while in school can be one of the most distracting experiences ever. Many students experience their first real breakups in college. As far as I can see it, we can all use some insight. Picture this, you’re doing your own thing, and basking in the solace of being single. You treat yourself to candle lit dinners, intimate movie nights, and long, revitalizing park strolls. Suddenly, a single second of eye contact intrudes on your reclusive nature. Their shiny locs, wide toothy grin, and their hypnotizing deep set eyes draw you in from across the room.

You start talking to them. With each funny joke, each deep, unearthing conversation, and each warm, comforting hug goodbye, they pull you further away from your loner roots. Maybe you spent homecoming week with them. All you can do is replay the first time they held your hand while trailing behind you at the football game. Or maybe the time you rested your head on their shoulder while sharing buttery popcorn and burying yourself into them with each jump scare. And you still can’t shake the time they smoothly wrapped their hand around your waist during the homecoming dance.

Where are they now? Do you still talk? 

If the answer is no, I can sympathize. Things don’t always workout as we would’ve hoped. For me, indoctrinated by the popular “We Fell in Love in October ” Tik-Tok ballad, I sought comfort from the cool breeze and the ghouls of the night in the arms of another. Unfortunately, I came to find that the integrity of those arms were nothing short of fickle. Despite our chemistry falling far from dissonant, we still wandered into a crossroads. He was resolute and unwavering, and ultimately decided to go one way, while I went the other. 

With the shadow of school pressure looming over me, a break up was the last thing that I needed.

I was met with resistance from my body when attempting to do important tasks. My heart stood firm on its protest against boring work and attending draining classes. As a result my work suffered greatly. Then one day, as my fingers danced across the keys of my laptop, I thought my body had finally relinquished control back to my mind. I’d finally be able to finish my paper! But then, those intrusive thoughts came back running rampant through my mind. Suddenly I was plunged back into the hole I thought I’d successfully crawled out of. This triggered a lightbulb in my mind. I had to do something differently.

These are the tips I used to regain my emotional footing. 

Anyone currently going through a breakup should ask themselves these questions. How did they make me feel, and how did I make them feel? What did I like, and what didn’t I like about that situation? Then I feel It would be within your best interest to indulge yourself in something that’s comforting for you. For example, if you enjoy food, don’t wait, take yourself out. Do things that enrich your life and bring you joy. Lastly, I’d say take some time to just be alone with yourself and your own thoughts. Let it be void of the influence of others.

Things didn’t work out, that’s ok.

They’ll continue living their lives and you’ll do the same. You owe it to yourself to. Everyone isn’t destined for a “We Fell in Love in October” moment, but there will be other months. Everyone’s healing story doesn’t unfold the same. Some will take longer than others, and some may need to take a different approach. For those who don’t know where to start, I hope these tips can successfully aid you. 

Zada Luby is a first-year student at Gwinnett Technical college, she’s a nursing major who loves art, nature, and helping her community grow. Follow her interests and more here.