In a recent interview with Blavity, the brains behind  Dear Fathers shared what their movement means to them. Co-Founders Jesse Alex and Lamar Johnson Jr. had many conversations as friends about how their fathers’ absence in their life affected them, which normally stemmed from “lighthearted” jokes. Through these talks, they examined what beneficial things they didn’t learn from a father figure as they became men. These moments of vulnerability between the two led to the creation of Dear Fathers, a media platform centered around telling the stories of Black fathers.

“Lamar and I would have conversations among ourselves and talk about what we wanted then that would also spill over into who we wanted to be as Black men and who we wanted to be as fathers,” Alex said. “Me not having any kids yet and Lamar being the father of two daughters, we would have some really unique conversations about growing up without a father, how that impacted us and how that carried over into who we are today. So, that’s originally the foundation of what we started back in September 2019.”

Since its debut, the organization has had a lot of different storytelling series where dads submit online about what fatherhood means to them, the effects of them being in the delivery room once their kid is born, and more. There are also opportunities for Black women to share stories about their fathers and the positive influence they’ve had in their life.

 

As the organization grew and garnered more attention, the St. Louis natives wanted to do more than just share the stories of others. Instead of only showcasing fatherhood in the Black community, they wanted to provide resources to help these men on their journeys whether they grew up without a father, are about to become a father, or are already a father. This is when Alex and Johnson connected with fellow St. Louis native Brad Edwards, who was on the road to becoming a father at the time.

As someone who already had relationships within the local community from outreach work he had already been doing, it was only right he became the group’s community organizer. “This fatherhood thing is not easy just like being a mom isn’t,” Edwards said. “There aren’t a lot of resources for men as much as there are for women and mothers, so us building our community and uplifting each other and letting it be know it’s okay to not be okay. I think that’s one thing as Black men, we have to understand you can’t be strong all the time and it’s okay to take the opportunity to refuel because you can’t pour from an empty well.”

Through their partnership, they’ve been able to provide a monthly mental program called ST8 Mental, which is a free one-hour group therapy session with a therapist that is open to the public on the last Thursday of each month. The goal of this Zoom meeting is to help connect Black men to mental health practitioners, be a stepping stone for one on one therapy, and create a safe place for vulnerability. Their first session hosted 50 men and has helped thousands of men since.

“I was noticing the conversation around mental health was becoming a more normal conversation among Black men, which I had never seen before, so we had perfect timing with that. As of today, we’ve spoken to over 5,000 men nationwide,” Edwards said.

In addition to their mental health program, they host in-person and online events. One of the in-person events they host nationwide is called “Dear Fathers Night,” an evening where fathers can connect before enjoying an NBA game. They’ve partnered with NBA teams like the Atlanta Hawks, Memphis Grizzlies and Golden State Warriors to create and ensure a unique experience for all attendees after networking drinks, light bites and panel discussions with celebs like NLE Choppa, Carl Anthony Payne II, Isaiah John and more.

“We want people to catch a vibe but be inspired and healed at the same time. Our purpose with the events is to create a conversation around the topics you don’t really hear people talk about among men in a cool way, not boring,” Alex said.

Dear Fathers also has “Books x Bourbon,” a virtual and in-person book club for Black men “focused on building brotherhood through conversations over books and a drink of your choice.” The three leaders also produced the Dear Fathers podcast where everyday dads and celebrity dads are interviewed to share their perspectives and converse over an array of topics.

They recently hosted a rooftop experience on Saturday in St. Louis to not only host fathers in the area but celebrate local men making a huge impact in the city. One of the men that was highlighted was Missouri native Mike Brown Sr., the father of the late Mike Brown whose death went viral after he was unjustly killed by Ferguson police officers in 2014.

All in all, this community of men has created an organic forum that allows men to be transparent without the pressures of society. And although the team behind Dear Fathers set out to help others, they were rewarded with something priceless, evolution in their own lives.

“To be completely honest, for a while I was scared to have children because I suffer from anxiety and depression and things of that nation,” Alex said. “I’m a very reflective person…I didn’t want to pass generational trauma off to them without me figuring it out. Now, I’m in a space where I’m confident and wanting to have one or two children from the work I’ve been doing with myself.”

“I think if you continue to do the work and bring kids into this world and fill them with love, joy, affirmations and teach them what it’s like to do the work within, that’s all you can do,” Brad added.

To get involved or stay informed about what the organization is gearing up for, check out their website.