Hella Lessons: Seven Things We Learned From This Season Of Insecure
Lessons on lessons on lessons
September 12, 2017 at 6:07 pm
The second season of HBO's Insecure has officially come to a close, and my TL already can’t deal. I’m high key struggling to figure out what I’m going to do for the next 52 Sundays until HBO and Queen Issa bless us with another season of Views from the Dunes. Until then though, I think its time we take a look back on the things we can all take away from this second season. So here are seven things that we all learned from this season of Insecure.
1. We all can’t get in ho-tation
Getting over someone by getting under someone else is the American way when it comes to break ups, and Issa proved to be no exception this season. However as much as Issa talked about building her ho-tation this season, it ultimately proved way too tough for her to manage. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying to reclaim your sexuality after a breakup, but it doesn’t have to be the standard for moving past your defunct relationship. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to let yourself be alone for awhile. You can focus on you and actually process your feelings so that when the next one comes along, you won’t be held down by the baggage from your old relationship.
2. The road to hell is paved with good intentions
It was the anti-fuckboy rebel yell heard ‘round the world: "You're a f**k ni**a who thinks he’s a good dude."
In Lawrence’s attempts to rebuild his ego get over Issa, he started a situationship with bank teller turned Chase-bae Tasha. While the two seemed to very much be on the same page physically, signals were mixed about what the exact state of their relationship was. In the end, Lawrence ended up hurting Tasha even though he had no intention of doing so. Lawrence’s desire to be the good guy in all situations led him to make some poor decisions this season. Had he just been honest with Tasha instead of trying to maintain her idea of what their relationship was, he could have spared some hurt feelings (and missed some family barbecues on the way) in the long run. Sometimes, trying to make people happy means being dishonest with them. Don’t let your good intentions stop you from keeping it one hundred.
3. Know when it's time to leave your job
While a good portion of Molly’s drama this season stemmed from her love life, she also dealt with the realities of being a black woman in corporate America. While working in the private sector comes with its own securities (stability, insurance, etc.), it also comes with its own levels of bullshit. And while bullshit in our work life is inevitable, not all of it has to be tolerable. We spend more time working than we do doing anything else, and you shouldn’t stay in a place where you feel overworked and underdeveloped. Sometimes we've done all the growing we can in a certain space, and it just might be time to move on to the next thing.
4. There’s no shame in therapy
Besides dealing with work and love, Molly finally took the time to focus on her mental health this season. Mental health is already a tough topic to tackle without the added stresses of just being black that we face everyday, but the difficulty of going to therapy shouldn't stop us from seeking it out. It took Molly a little while to actually open up to her therapist, but once she did, life got a little clearer for her. It can be extremely hard to be vulnerable with someone, especially someone who you don't know. But having an independent, licensed party help you process your everyday feelings can help you not only learn to make sense of your feelings, but also figure out how to face them and move forward.
5. Your parents are people too
As much as we (and sometimes they) might hate to admit it, our parents are humans just like us. This means they have their own sets of baggage to deal with, as Molly learned this season. No matter how together your parents may have it now, at one time their sh*t was all over the place just like yours is now. While they've probably kept some things from us for good reason, learning about some of the decisions that they've made up to this point can not only help you navigate life but also take your relationship with your parents to a new and deeper level.
6. Keep the family (and friends) close
Keeping your family close during your adult years is obviously important, but one of the most important themes of Insecure is friendship and how powerful it can be in your adult years. The friendship between Issa and Molly is so pure, and the banter between the two of them this season reminded us just how important it is to maintain strong and healthy friendships with people you love. Having someone to hype you up when you're feeling down, check you when you're messing up, or even occasionally indulge your pettiness is essential for adult life.
7. Ultimately, you have to let go of things to make room for new ones
In the season two finale, we saw the closing of a few chapters that were left wide open at the end of the first season. The biggest of these chapters, of course, was the feud between Issa and Lawrence. The subtle shots between the two characters spanned the entire second season and came to a boiling point with their argument in the penultimate episode. While the ‘conversation’ between the two characters was ultimately unproductive, we learned that both Issa and Lawrence were both harboring feelings about each other that stopped them from going forward in any relationship with anyone else. When it comes to ending relationships, we often think that the fix is to work through issues in order to ultimately bring the relationship back to what it once was. But sometimes, there is no going back in relationships. Closure can be good for everyone, especially when all feelings are laid out on the table and everyone can acknowledge where and when they were in the wrong. With some relationships, the best thing to do for both parties is to let go of what was and move on to something new. Our lives get so crowded with trash that it can be hard to fit all the good things in, so realizing when a point in your life has run its course is essential to actually living your best life.