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So, your best friend isn't single anymore and luckily, you're along for the ride. You were there when he approached her and showed interest. You were there when he had the pleasure of taking her on a first date which led to 8 more. You were there when she came to you smiling over a cup of coffee that it was made official & she couldn't be happier to see where this is going.
But you can't help but roll your eyes and suck your teeth at the mention of his name. What do you do when your best friend's contributor of happiness literally makes your skin crawl or gives you a repulsive feeling? Don't worry, girl! You are not alone, been there, done that. To help you out, check out 4 steps to help you manage and maintain the situation all in support of your friendship and hopefully to make peace with her significant other.
KEEP THE VENTING TO YOURSELF
It can be tempting to let out what you feel about your friend's significant other, especially to a mutual friend; but digress from igniting any type of drama. Avoid constantly stating what you think about her new man. Trust me, it will backfire. Not only will you get on her nerves, but you'll lose the opportunity for her to ever confide in you in the future.
Your opinion does not always matter because everyone out here in these streets has to make their own decisions at the end of the day- with or without your statements. How is she supposed to take venting which is most likely judgmental or nit-picky when she's still in the process of getting to know the guy? It's not your relationship, so unless asked, keep your comments to yourself. Be sure to keep what you say positive and nice. If you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say it at all…Friend Principles 101.
REMEMBER WHO YOUR LOYALTY BELONGS TO
You're her friend, therefore you support her. Never forget or allow your feelings to cloud what the foundation of your friendship is and means. Use good judgment and choose to progressively channel your irritation, or lack of likeness regarding her significant other, towards fueling how great of a friend you can be to her and for her.
Where does your loyalty stand?
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STEP INTO HER SHOES
Ok, you've been single for a good year now and FINALLY get bae, yet on the other hand, you have your number one rider of a best friend showing no love whatsoever to whom you consider to possibly be 'the one.' How would you feel? Think to yourself for a moment and consider her happiness and how he makes her feel, not you. It's not about you. Learn to be considerate of this new change in her life and faithfully show up to support her.
The biggest key is removing yourself from it and switch perspectives. Remember the last time a new guy made you happy? I bet you weren't thinking twice about what your friends thought because you were so freaking happy! See where homegirl is coming from and take yourself out of it.
PHOTO: The Urban Play
BE WHO SHE NEEDS
At times, when she is unsure about things or the new romance is looking a little weary be who she needs you to be. That means to be supportive, a lending ear and shoulder, accountable, and most of all loving and understanding. Remove all barriers of judgment and be there for her.
As mentioned earlier, it's hard enough putting yourself out there and to not receive the support for doing so sucks. The best way to do this is to remember what you would need in times like this and be that person also tailoring her needs as well.
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