Gratitude:  Noun. The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness

“You have to think about how far you have come. Last year around this time you were in a bad place in life. You have progressed. Show gratitude by celebrating your present.”

That’s the advice I gave to my younger brother as he dwelled on how far he has to go to accomplish his dreams.

I now realize that I needed that advice more than him.

I have always been the nostalgic-futuristic type. I love to learn about the history (more like the fashion and music styles) of the generations past. I must admit that I also love the Facebook app that allows you to track your posts from the previous years. It allows me to see what I was concerned about in 2008. In addition, I am obsessed with future plans and creating a better future for the next generations.

Yearning for past experiences, lovers, friends and moments has created an illusion in my mind. As I reflect, “things weren’t so bad” fogs my mindset. I used to think I had the worse childhood ever, then I realized once I was older that I had a lit childhood, being surrounded by eight siblings all the time. At times, I try to recreate those moments.

I've had great friendships that have ended with an argument or amicably, but as I look back at the moments, we had really great times together. I question whether the argument was worth it. Older and wiser me says it wasn’t. So I begin to dwell on whether I should restart a new friendship with the same person.

I broke up with the man I thought I was going to marry and have kids with. As I dwelled on our relationship, the words that came to mind were, “things weren’t so bad.” They weren’t. He is a good man and we had great times and I want to recreate those times. Immediately, I kept thinking that I would recreate these times with a different man (and I probably will) but there I was, thinking about the future. My mind drastically went from past to future without thinking about the present.

Traveling has been a passion of mine since I was five, but I immediately started looking for a summer job before my teaching gig ended (thinking of the future). I went on vacation to celebrate my first year of teaching and realized that I do not need to work during the summer. I have enough money saved up to travel and pay living expenses for the next 3 months. So, I decided to live in the present and travel.

Traveling and seeing different cultures and sceneries has allowed me to reflect with a different lens. With those new lenses, I have learned to live in the present and show gratitude for what I do have and to stop dwelling so much about the past. If I am dwelling on the past or worrying about my future, I am unable to be gracious about my present circumstances.

Cherishing the memories, friendships and lovers that I had does not mean going backwards. I cannot recreate those moments and I should not try to recreate those moments. Some of those friendships and lovers were meant to end. Most importantly, take the lessons from those past experiences and apply them to my present.

Be that great friend to the friends I have now.

Love my family and friends who I do have an opportunity to still love.

Be PRESENT for those who are in my life, and show gratitude to God and others who have helped me attain my goals.

My future will come and be greater than my past, but to get to my future, I must stay gracious to my present.