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Posted under: Relationships Community Submitted

My Request To The Black Contestants Of The Bachelorette

It's all in the technique

2017 started off as a bad year for black men dating-wise as we still have a bad tendency in supporting colorism and favoritism of non-black women above our own.

I really do want to see black love on screen whether fictional or real-life. Recently, we got an early glimpse of some of the contestants for season 13 of the Bachelorette. So far, four were revealed: two black men and two white men. One of the gentlemen approached her with confidence and was not afraid to spoil her with a trip to Las Vegas.

The other black man approached her with swag and reclaimed her blackness in her corporate body. It was a joyful sight to see that these two could be a power couple -- if he plays his cards right.

Meanwhile, I saw a post weeks prior asking black people to stop pressuring Rachel to choose a black man. Why not? It would be noticeable to show black love mainstream and it should not be hidden under the disguise of ratings.

Yet, the rebuttal was towards forcing her to like a black man regardless of his personality and actions. Granted, she can be with whoever she chooses, but she should not let any man dog and mistreat her. When it comes to white men and interracial dating, the conversation gets muddy. Black women want global validation throughout all races of men. Sometimes as a black man, it is troubling for me to see white men clumsily relate to black women. They assume that they have right touch her hair or use slang among black people.

Whether a black man wins Rachel’s heart does not matter, but I would love to see them help undo black male stereotypes, like that we only date light skinned/mixed, white or Latina women. 

Now, here is my list of what the black contestants can do to fix the image of black men:

Be Serious

You do not need to prompt yourself as a player. Do not brag about your bachelor adventures of wild parties and girls do anything for your attention.

Make Her Feel Beautiful

You do not need to take her to bed to tell her something as simple and meaningful, as ‘you are beautiful.’ Compliment her style and fashion sense make her feel important.

Accept Rejection

Eventually, a black man will be sent back home based on the number of contestants but when that time comes do not let your masculinity break and react irrationally. If you lose do not tell her how unblack she is and just accept the fact that your personality or actions may have cost you a chance.

Have Intelligent Conversations

Yes, it is cool to have witty and less serious conversations but make yourself stand out. Work on expanding the conversation beyond sports and music. Have woke conversations with her or exercise each others intelligence.

Defend Her

This does not mean shielding her as if she is a child. When you see male or white privilege belittling her existence, then you need to change that at least care for her as a sister. This is the most important request because in personal experiences with black women they are conflicted on how they see black men

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What do you think?

For fun, I enjoy challenging myself to do things that seem scary or out of my realm of expertise. While I was attending in college, I majored in Communication with a minor in Women's and Gender Studies. The thing that I love about blogging is that there could be hundreds or thousands of people who may share my same opinion.