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Are You Porsha?: How To Avoid Letting Fake Friends Ruin Your Vision

You can't trust everyone with your thoughts.

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Reality TV.

We watch and pass judgment as the events of others unfold.  Then comment on how stupid they are for their decisions, and how we would NEVER find ourselves in that situation.  Take Porsha from Real Housewives of Atlanta for an example.  If I had a dollar for every time we called her stupid this past season I wouldn’t have to work anymore. 

Porsha is not the brightest light bulb in the shed, but this season took it to a different level.  We all know the story of how she damaged Kandi’s name, telling everyone who would listen that Kandi had plans to “rape” her.  But, we later found out on the reunion show that her best friend on the show Phony Phae, I meant Phaedra, was the source of this information and made the story up.

Phaedra's name was dragged of course, and we looked at Porsha with the “bish really?” face.  We could never fathom taking a story with that weight and running with it. Now believe it or not, although we may know what the Underground Railroad is we might still have a touch of Porsha in us. 

Photo: Tumblr
Photo: Tumblr


Glad that you asked. 

Think about it this way. Perhaps there's a skill, career, business idea that you are very fond of.  I wouldn’t use the word expert quite yet but you are on your way to make things happen.  You mention your plans to a friend who tells you Oh no baby, what is you doing?”  Their opinion is that you shouldn’t attempt it.  That another route would be beneficial to your success. So you take their word and run with it.

It's called Blind Faith.

We fail to realize that they might just be “making it up.”  Now we have redirected the trajectory of our lives because we trusted someone with our dreams.  Not different from how Porsha took that statement that Phaedra made and ran with it. Before trusting someone with your dreams (or your friendships) here is a mental checklist to run through.

1.  Intentions

What is the meaning behind their statement?  You don’t always have to ask them “why'd you say that?”, look at their life which will tell the story for you.  Is this a task they attempted and failed at? People love to place their limitations of what they are unable to accomplish onto you.  If that is the case, thank them for their statement and continue to do your thang!

*Note: Be honest with yourself. What are YOUR intentions?  If you suck and you are taking a stab at it for the wrong reasons.  This is a Charlemagne Tha God “f**k yo dreams” moment. Give it up boo, this is not your get out of jail free card. 

2.  Fact Check

If you have learned nothing more from the current administration, it is to FACT CHECK.  People will hit you with their speculations about what you want to pursue.  Just because it is their opinion doesn’t make it real.  Research and find out.  Could what they are saying hold up in the court of law? Or did they make you believe that Santa Clause exist? (sorry to bust your bubble if you didn’t come to the conclusion as a kid.)

Photo: Giphy
Photo: Giphy

3.   Insecurity

Pursuing your dreams can be a scary journey. It will involve exploring the unknown. It is a new experience and you discover tons about yourself in the meantime.  Dreams can expose your vulnerabilities.  If you mentally lack the confidence to push through, you may use your friend's comment as a way out.  Fear isn’t going to get you far.  Don’t allow this to become your scapegoat to abandon your dreams because it pushes you past your limits. 

Dreams are fragile. They break easily. Be careful with who you allow to be responsible for them. Keep them safe in your hands, because people will drop them without a care in the world. Continue to strive, and stop allowing words that are spoken to divert you from the path.

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One of the dopest Life Coaches for Millennials; Jasamine Hill is not only a blogger but also the host of "The Perfectly Imperfect Grind" Podcast. She ensures that people have the tools to move into ACTION and overcome FEAR. Jasamine loves God but still a 'lil ratchet. Connect with her on social media (@TheFearHurdler) and check out TheFearHurdler.com