Should You Have An Ex As A BFF While Dating?
Not all relationships are as black and white as they seem.
March 23, 2017 at 2:12 am
According to Urban Dictionary, an ex is “a person you used to love,” or even, “a person you now hate.” Of course these are alternative facts, but the reality is that an ex is a person, that for some reason, did not make the cut in your life. An unbreakable bond might have developed over the course of that past relationship, and you both remain really good friends. But now that you’ve decided to date new people, do you still stay best friends with your ex, or should things change because someone else is in the picture? Well, it depends. Here are a few factors worth taking into consideration before resuming a platonic friendship with an ex, in the midst of dating.
Make sure you have open lines of communication with your current significant other.
Initiating a conversation with your current partner is a must in order to clear up any confusion, doubt or concern he or she may have regarding an ex. Although you may receive solid trust from your partner in most aspects of your relationship, avoid violating their respect and ask for their input. Don’t make the mistake of seeing this thoughtful gesture as asking for permission; it is simply a method that will help you get on the same page with your current significant other.
Things ended for a reason.
Let’s be real. Some relationships are not worth salvaging even in the most platonic of terms. And while the intentions of maintaining a close friendship with an ex may be harmless, it’s crucial for you to be clear on the reasons why the romantic relationship came to an end. Was it just the long distance? Could it have been lack of compatibility? Is it due to reasons of infidelity? Different reasons may bring forth mixed signals between you and an ex. If the reason isn’t really transparent, you might give someone a false sense of hope due to miscommunication. If you lack transparency with your own interpretation of the break up, it can potentially disrupt your current dating situation.
Children may be involved. If so, it changes things.
If you have children, you’ve probably realized that best friends form a better co-parenting unit. So, perhaps it’s worth keeping a close friendship with an ex for the sake of raising your children together. Although dating can become a little trickier with children, establishing a close relationship with an ex might alleviate the fear children may feel when seeing their parents date other people.
If you have mutual friends with an ex…
Sharing a significant amount of mutual friends with an ex makes it almost necessary to pursue a friendship, in order to not split up the crew. Honestly, it’ll be impossible to avoid an ex at your friends’ multiple functions, so sincerely moving forward, and maintaining platonic motives with an ex, will grant you the freedom to go after the dating life you truly want — and this time, in a more mature way than before.
Above all, the most important part is that you’ve closed a chapter and can experience all the good a new dating life has to offer. Befriending an ex while dating doesn’t necessarily present an issue in your current situation; just don’t let the case of the ex ruin your new potential romance.