There comes a point in life when adulting gets real, the thought of a casual hook up sounds utterly repulsive, and a solid eight hours of sleep is way more appealing than a late night of club-hopping. Although there’s no magic age for this transition, a common warning sign is the sudden onset of intolerance for lyrical tomfoolery. If you find yourself staring at your car radio during rush-hour traffic in utter bewilderment at what passes for music these days, or if your internal dialogue uses phrases such as, “these days,” it’s important to prepare yourself with a strong playlist to accommodate your rapidly evolving grown-assness.

To get you started, here are 15 mellow chill-inducing, grown folks songs for every situation:

1. Mary J. Blige – “Whole Damn Year”

Nobody sings pain like Mary J. sings pain, and this right here is that gut-wrenching, broken down to the core, never be the same, give me the strength to survive, grown woman heartbreak-theme song. Speak this word, Mary!

2. Ruben Studdard – “Make Ya Feel Beautiful”

With this lovely, respectful and complimentary approach to wooing, the Velvet Teddy Bear significantly increases the chances of grown-folk snuggle time.

3. Jill Scott – “My Petition”

In what is arguably the most soothing protest song ever created, Jill sings my entire soul and proves that artistry is always vital to the movement.

4. Lucy Pearl – “Can’t Stand Your Mother”

When two people decide to shut it down in holy matrimony, sometimes the family baggage that comes along with it can be too intense. Enter Raphael Saadiq and Dawn Robinson with the ultra petty, mother-in-law diss song.

5. Dwele – “Going, Leaving”

In this fresh spin on the standard R&B “one that got away” cliché, Dwele soulfully walks us through the entire lifespan of meeting, loving and ultimately regretting leaving narrative.

6. Mos Def – “Umi Says”

In this epic stream of consciousness rant, Yasiin Bey articulates the inner voice of every grown creative vacillating between purpose and practicality.

7. Kindred The Family Soul – “Far Away”

This is for the moments when you just want to escape reality for some grown and sexy time with hubby.

8. Erykah Badu – “Orange Moon”

If you don’t believe in the gravitational pull and cosmic power of fully conscious, unadulterated love, this melodic ode will make a believer of you.

WARNING: Listen at your own risk. @FatBellyBella’s hypnotic powers are known to be real.

9. Jazmine Sullivan – “Let it Burn”

Come through Ms. Sullivan! Jazmine will have you out here living reckless in these R&B streets, playing with fire and letting it burn.

10. Emily King – “Distance”

Never in your life have you heard a kinder, more diplomatic appeal for space. With her smooth, honey-coated voice, Emily will lull everyone into relationship hiatus.

11. Rodney Wilkerson – “Ooh Wee Golly”

When she’s got you so thrown that you can’t even find the words, sometimes you just have to revert to that childhood vocabulary, or so says this regional, dirty south R&B crooner.

12. Marsha Ambrosius – “Far Away”

In this goose-pimple inducing tribute to lost love, Marsha shuts down the entire game while casually exhibiting her super human vocal range.

13. Michael Jackson – “Butterflies”

The King of Pop proves that grown folks still get butterflies.

14. Musiq – “Dontchange”

In the ultimate nod to that real substantive grown folk commitment, Musiq’s love is far from shallow. This brotha’ is on that in-sickness-and-health, ’til-death-do-us-part, in-it-for-the-long-haul type loyalty.

15. Phonte – “Gonna Be a Beautiful”

Phonte ‘n’ ’em will set you up for what is sure to be a beautiful night if you let them.

Grown folks music is a state of mind. A little trap music laced with a pinch of Mary J. will get you right every time.

grown folks songs

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