I’ll admit it: your girl was nervous.

Normally, when I’m faced with a task, I don't sweat. I’m an Aries; it's in my nature to fearlessly and impulsively dive into anything thrown my way. However, I was about to speak to one of the women who has influenced my pilgrimage into positive plus-size living and it had me shook. Not to mention, I was sick as all hell and my throaty voice had me sounding like an extra in “Girl 6”. I made myself a cup of ginger tea, inhaled two teaspoons of honey and prepped my questions. I had to nail this. This wasn't just a key moment in my writing career. It was a personal moment that I’d cherish forever.

After a few rings, Kelly Augustine picked up and all my anxiety subsided. Her voice matched mine, raspy in nature but still a sense of warmth. As fate would have it, she was battling a cold after a night out just as I was. That small similarity was one of my many I encountered in my talk with the blogging maven.

Kelly dropped so many gems during our conversation together; gems that I had no clue I needed to hear until she shared them. With a new year comes new energy. It was refreshing and inspiring to hear Kelly open up about her struggles as a plus-size woman of color, her highlights, and her future. It was something every woman needed to hear and heed, especially us sisters in size. That's why I’m honored to be sharing it.

Here are some wise, relatable words from a phenomenal woman trying to maintain through the madness.

Know where you come from to get where you’re going.

“Growing up, I was very self-aware,” says Augustine about her past. As with most people who grew up plus-sized, she realized she was different than the others in the schoolyard quite early. That self-awareness and assurance started early and oftentimes, can be used as the encouragement needed to maneuver through life as we age.

Lemonade is a popular drink.

Kelly briefed me on a recent situation she had at work. “At first, I was upset about it. But, instead of wallowing, I realized this could be an opportunity for something else, for growth. I try to find the good in things. When I feel down about my body, I ask myself what little change can I make to feel better.” Being proactive with life’s lemons could create a strong, sweet pitcher of lemonade in the future. We just have to accept the initial bitterness for what it is – life.

Embrace those off days.

It’s hard to be a beacon of positivity, especially when so many people are expecting you to be "on" all the time. When it comes to body positivity, those days of self-loathing are normal. They’re essential. They’re necessary. Kelly and I spoke about that feeling we know all too well. “It makes me sad when people say ‘oh, I wish I had your confidence’ or ‘if only I could’. That’s why I feel a certain level of responsibility to share my journey.” She also speaks of the plus-size blogging community and the need to be more vulnerable in that realm. Her solution? “Lots of soul-searching. Every day is not a great day. We’re working on it like you’re working on it. Just try to keep your head held high. Don’t dwell on what you could change; that’s just treading the waters.”

A tribe called Sisterhood.

“I feel like every woman needs a tribe, no matter what size she is,” she said emphatically. Most women can relate to this. Girlfriends are not even an option; they are vital to one’s progression. Kelly dropped the names of a few women who inspire her. “Zellie by She, she’s one of my best friends. Essie Golden, Chante [of Everything Chic and Curvy]. They keep me afloat, whether it’s personal or business.” It’s important to have a girl squad who can relate to you and understand your mentality. Now, more than ever, you should fortify the community around you.

For us, by us.

It’s amazing how far we’ve come, in terms of plus women being visible in mainstream society. It’s got its perks. Kelly says it’s refreshing to see women like us take over, emphasizing the importance of these images. “They’re visual [and virtual] affirmations. They’re looking beautiful and living beautifully. These are women from various walks of life that still align with my journey.” Tread lightly, though.

Avoid cruising down a parallel lane.

As the digital age we’re living in flourishes, it also has the ability to attack our psyche. It's easy to downplay your wins when others seem to be winning at an expedited rate. “It can make you want to throw your phone in the toilet,” Kelly says. She asserts how important it is to separate reality from the highlight reel we’re privy to on platforms like Instagram and Snapchat. “Maintain perspective. What’s made for them isn’t made for you.”

Do good.

Towards the end of our exchange, we discussed the conversation that we’d have with our younger selves. When I say Kelly dropped the mic, she dropped the mic, giving me everything I needed to hear. “I’d tell her to surround herself with good people and energy. Build relationships that have an impact.” Kelly reminisced on an internship she acquired when she was young. “She was a woman living in a brownstone apartment who, to me, was killing it. I learned so much from her. She always looked out and stayed a constant resource.” She kept it simple. “Be a whole person, a good person and keep the energy around you positive.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

grown woman

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