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“A f****t is not a homosexual male. A f****t is any male who acts like a female … and even if I am homophobic … so what?!”

— Azealia Banks, on Twitter in 2013

Homophobic is defined as, “having or showing a dislike or prejudice against homosexual people." This may include homophobic remarks, acts of violence and even gaslighting. Uncomfortable is defined as “causing or feeling slight pain or physical discomfort." This is a debate that one can play devil’s advocate to, to an extent. The question is, how far are we willing to go? I, myself, am a heterosexual woman, but I cannot count how many times I’ve been around friends and family that identify as part of the LGBTQ community who have heard erroneous remarks. Remarks such as, “get away from me before I hit you,” “that’s so gay,” “bi isn’t a real thing,” “I can make you straight” and “have you tried the other gender? You might like it.”

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To make ourselves feel better, we call homophobia a variety of things — except for the truth. Many will try and say, “homophobia is just a case of toxic masculinity,” but they fail to mention that homophobia is genderless. We've got to stop making excuses for hate. Hate is blind, it doesn’t rationalize, nor does it take the time to understand. At times, it is even manipulative. How many times have you heard the oldest line in the book, “I’m not homophobic; I have a gay friend"?

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What better way for one to mask he or she’s homophobia than associating themselves with an individual who has the opposite sexual orientation as them. The lengths in which those who struggle with homophobia go to prove they aren’t indeed homophobic is baffling and uncomfortable. It is OK for a heterosexual individual to not be interested in a homosexual male or female who may find an interest in them, but it is not OK to try to hurt that individual or make them feel bad about who and what they are.

Where do we draw the line? One may wonder if there's even a line that can be drawn. Heterosexual men and women are hit on more times than I’m sure they can count. But one thing I’ve noticed is that they do not want to throw away their entire sexual orientation after experiencing such passes from a hetero person of interest or not. The question being, why do we often feel the need to do so after we experience it from anyone who identifies as LGBTQ?

There is a fine line between discomfort and hate.

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James Baldwin once said, “Everybody’s journey is individual. You don’t know with whom you’re going to fall in love … If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many people consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.”

We all have felt uncomfortable by something, there is no denying that. We are human. We have all felt confused by things we didn’t understand. But it is our job to at least try to. Hate should be the last resort, not the first. If we ever find ourselves reaching a point where we will never understand things that are different, we should just leave them be.

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