It's April 5, 2018 and it is Pharrell's 45th birthday! *flings confetti*

Other than being known as a highly talented artist, we'd say Pharrell's aversion to aging is Chapter 2 of his legacy. Melanin is already cited as one of the reasons why "black don't crack" is a thing, but Pharrell is special. He is definitely the Benjamin Button of Blackness.

Pharrell stopped aging after the far left photo in the second row, which was probably 28 years ago.

I need to know his skincare and diet routine. He probably moisturizes with unicorn tears and Jesus sweat. https://t.co/WvegrULrPr

— Bärí A. Williams (@BariAWilliams) April 5, 2018

Pharrell is aging backwards…

— Cassidy Hubbarth (@CassidyHubbarth) February 19, 2018

Pharrell stopped aging after the far left photo in the second row, which was probably 28 years ago.

I need to know his skincare and diet routine. He probably moisturizes with unicorn tears and Jesus sweat. https://t.co/WvegrULrPr— Bärí A. Williams (@BariAWilliams) April 5, 2018

Pharrell is aging backwards…— Cassidy Hubbarth (@CassidyHubbarth) February 19, 2018

Other things age like normal — or expeditiously — but somehow Pharrell somehow manages to finesse Father Time. He has the same face he had when we were introduced to him, y'all!

Here are a few things that age quicker than Pharrell…

1. Avocado

Ah yes, the beloved unofficial-official food of California and the reason why millennials are ruining everything, according to baby boomers. As soon as you drop one in the fridge, with your mouth watering for a perfectly colored slice to place on your Instagram-able salad… you see it's brown. You JUST put it in there, right?! Rude.

2. Racists

There's something about bigotry that amps up the aging process in the ugliest of ways. Oh, and don't leave it to my testimony, there was a whole study done on the possible correlation in 2014, per PBS.

In that same vein…

3. Those who were once with us and are now against us

Two words: Stacey Dash. Condolences.

There is a DIRECT correlation between Black people aging well, and Black people honoring our African ancestors in the ways we live our lives. Stacey Dash is a living, breathing cautionary tale, about the spiritual conditionality and physical revocability of "Black don't crack."— Fiqah (@sassycrass) January 17, 2018

4. The weekend

No, not the singer — that's, The Weeknd. No third "e." We mean the fact that the weekdays go by like a cool summer breeze, while the weekend always speeds by. Now that we think about it, it probably ages us ungracefully.

Photo: GIPHY

5. Your knees

Ask any person who has reached 30 and they will always cite their knees as what "goes" first. One minute you're dropping it like it's hot to your favorite trap song and the next minute you're descending like it's lukewarm. What part of the game of Life is this?!

Photo: GIPHY

6. Fashion trends

Yes, we're talking about your XXXXXL pants and sparkly cowboy belts with words like "babe" or "sexy" on the buckle. If Pharrell's face were a freshly-lotioned hand, those trends would be your hand after you sat in the bathtub too long.

Photo: GIPHY

7. Us (me and you, yo mama and yo cousin, too)

No contest. Don't even try to challenge him. He wins, by default. I mean, do you have access to unicorn tears?!

Pharrell wins! At everything, but especially aging.

Pharrell stopped aging after the far left photo in the second row, which was probably 28 years ago.

I need to know his skincare and diet routine. He probably moisturizes with unicorn tears and Jesus sweat. https://t.co/WvegrULrPr— Bärí A. Williams (@BariAWilliams) April 5, 2018

Pharrell stopped aging after the far left photo in the second row, which was probably 28 years ago.

I need to know his skincare and diet routine. He probably moisturizes with unicorn tears and Jesus sweat. https://t.co/WvegrULrPr— Bärí A. Williams (@BariAWilliams) April 5, 2018

Pharrell stopped aging after the far left photo in the second row, which was probably 28 years ago.

I need to know his skincare and diet routine. He probably moisturizes with unicorn tears and Jesus sweat. https://t.co/WvegrULrPr— Bärí A. Williams (@BariAWilliams) April 5, 2018

Pharrell is aging backwards…— Cassidy Hubbarth (@CassidyHubbarth) February 19, 2018

unicorn

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