I recently watched Teyanna Taylor’s podcast with Bumble on polyamory. Dating is already confusing as hell, but now there are several different lifestyles that people have adopted to satisfy their need for options. So, let’s get into what I learned about polyamory.
Polyamorous
To be polyamorous means to have open intimate or romantic relationships with more than one person at a time. People who are polyamorous can have any sexual orientation, and polyamorous relationships can include people of different sexual orientations.
Unlike open relationships, polyamory is characterized by emotional as well as sexual or romantic intimacy between partners. In contrast to infidelity, adultery or extramarital sex, polyamory is consensual and disclosed to everyone involved.
Triad Polyamory
A triad polyamory relationship is an arrangement between three individuals. Not all three need to be in a sexual relationship inside this triad, and a triad polyamory relationship can take several different structures.
A closed triad is where the poly relationship exclusively involves the poly triad, with no outside partners. The three individuals form an intimate relationship where they are committed to each other and don’t seek external partners.
A fully open triad can take on many forms. However, the simple definition is that this relationship involves three people who engage in a romantic or sexual relationship with each other and each of the partners can have relationships freely with other people. Not everyone in the triad will know the partners they have outside of their three-way relationship.
Fully open triads often occur when three close friends decide to date each other or when a couple with an open relationship decides to take on a third person romantically and sexually. Open triads can also form for any length of time. Some may occur at a swinger’s party and others as a long-term arrangement.
My Thoughts
Now, I know this might be a lot for some, but I wanted to give all the proper information because many aren’t well-versed in those terms.
Being a woman of a particular age, I’m a firm believer that you should state your intentions upfront. It’ll save everyone a lot of heartache and time. One thing I’ve noticed is Black people are starting to become more forthcoming about their sexual desires, which is refreshing.
Our generation receives a lot of grief because we aren’t doing things like previous generations before us, which is cool. We’re supposed to evolve, the generations before us had too many broken relationships, often resulting in the broken homes we see today. I know that last statement might piss a lot of people off. However, it’s God’s honest truth.
How many of us have secret family members? If the generations before us were as perfect as they portray themselves, these types of things wouldn’t be happening. Nor would we be suffering from the consequences from our grandparents or parents.
Some say the freedom of a poly lifestyle is beneficial; others say it’s harmful. To be honest, it’s not one I care to partake in. For me, it’s too much of a gray area and someone is likely to get jealous. You have to be a strong person to partake in a poly arrangement and I’m woman enough to say this isn’t for me at all.
After learning about polyamory though, it’s beneficial for those who live life apologetically and those who like being responsibly promiscuous. Those who partake in this lifestyle know what they want upfront, and there are no discrepancies. It takes a courageous person to live their truth with the possibility of knowing they’ll be shunned by society and family members because it’s not the status quo.
Times may be strange right now in a lot of ways, but I admire those who are willing to stand in their truth. At the end of the day, we’re not here for a long time, only a good time.