Growing up, I really hated my hair. I hated how thick, frizzy and unmanageable it was. I abhorred how much it tangled when my mom combed it out every Sunday morning and cornrowed it for school. I hated how it never seemed to do what I needed it to do when I needed it to do it. I barely ever remember seeing women on television or in magazines who had hair like mine, so from a very young age, I was conditioned to believe that straight was great..that something was wrong with my hair because it was anything but sleek and smooth. I wanted that greatness, so I often manipulated my hair to appear this way to the point where it became so dry, brittle and damaged that it began to fall out.
Learning to embrace my curls wasn’t an easy process. It took a lot of courage because I felt more secure in myself when I straightened my hair. I also felt more beautiful. Why? Because for centuries, America has preferred a standard of beauty that favors whiteness. Fair skin, straight hair and European features are celebrated in our society. Those of us who do not possess those features often end up manipulating ourselves to resemble what society has bamboozled us into believing is ideal. This constant pursuit of a false perfection that will forever be out of reach only makes for a tormented existence as we battle against ourselves in a struggle to attain a standard of beauty that will always be unattainable.
When I chose to embrace my natural curls, I was fully aware that I was going against the status quo. I’ve willingly challenged this norm while representing Howard University in a debate against Harvard, while interviewing for an internship which eventually turned into a job offer and while attending board meetings and a variety of national events on behalf of my organization. I’ve received an overabundance of compliments on my mane, while others have gawked at it and encouraged me to go back to straightening it regularly as to appear “more professional.” Hearing such opinions about my wild and free curls used to be quite hurtful, mostly because I was criticized simply for being true to myself. But my curly hair is me, I’ve learned to love and embrace it and I take pride in its distinctive beauty.
Despite how others might feel about it, I love my hair and I’m so glad that I’ve learned to accept myself just as I am. Looking back on my own hair journey makes me realize how important it is for young black women to be secure in their own unique beauty, without feeling as if what they have naturally is not good enough. It gives me so much joy to live in a time when my peers are unapologetically embracing their natural hair and rewriting the script of what it means to be beautiful in America. I am so grateful that my curly-haired 2-year-old niece, Serenity, and black girls everywhere can look up to people like Solange Knowles, Teyonah Parris, Nicole Ari Parker, Tracee Ellis Ross and Ledisi for hair inspiration. I’m appreciative of the modern iterations of the black and proud movement that have echoed and demonstrated to the masses the variety of beauty that exists when we look beyond white. Black skin is beautiful in all shades. Black features are beautiful in all forms. Black hair is beautiful in all textures. Black is beautiful in its entirety. Period.
I love my hair now more than I ever have, and I don’t care who doesn’t.
Radiah Shabazz is a communications professional based in Washington, D.C. She is passionate about bringing awareness to a variety of social issues that impact the black American experience. You can find her being unapologetically black and proud on Twitter at @_radiah and on Instagram at @ra_didi.
