I know if your grandmother or great auntie are anything like mine, you’ve heard them exclaim, “Chile, you just have to love some people from afar!” But we probably didn’t pay them any mind when they said this…we just think about their clever proverbs once we hit THAT situation. Why wait until we are in the situation before we take heed to their advice? It’s because we don’t want to accept the fact that maybe bae or your best friend or your grandparent needs to be loved from afar.
Loving someone up close
When you love someone up close, you can't help but see them for who they really are. There are no trick mirrors being held up in front of you, they can’t hide from who they truly are. Stuff gets real up close! You see all of their flaws, of course, but we’ve all been taught to look and love past those flaws. But what if those flaws affect you and your mental state of peace? Should we wrap them in the swaddling clothes of our love, adoration and grace, giving them chance after chance to prove the only thing they are capable of doing correctly is shattering our peace of mind? In the reassuring words of Bishop Bullwinkle, “HELL NAW to the naw, naw, naw!” Oh, don’t act like y’all forgot about him!
Peace of mind is EVERYTHING
I’m all about keeping the peace at all costs. I firmly advocate being the boss of all your relationships whenever possible. Nobody can love you like you can, boo! This isn’t saying that you still can’t love that person. If you love someone, I don’t think you ever stop loving them, the type of love you have for them changes. Your love for them becomes more impersonal. You should love them for the great memories you once had with them, how special they made you feel once upon a time. That should be when you start loving them from afar. Wish them well, pray for them, do whatever it is you have to do for yourself. I just need for you to love yourself more than you love them! Stop making excuses for their behavior. Yeah, some people change, but you should let them change without your assistance. Keep peering from afar if you want to. If they’ve changed, you’ll be able to see it from all the way up in the 600 level of the stadium.
What about loving family from afar?
If this is a family member, it’s a bit more challenging to love them from afar. But honey, when it comes to your well-being, be a little selfish. Loving a family member from afar can very much so be accomplished, you’re just going to have to establish boundaries of exactly how many meters away you want to love them. Limit your interactions with them, call on the holidays if you're comfortable with that, but never feel like you have to fake the funk to appease a family member.
If that person asks you why you seem so distant, don’t be afraid to tell them you love you more. They have to accept that fact, what are they going to do about it? They created this situation and have to live with the consequences. Leave the conversation at that and keep going about your business. They determined their presence in your life already, so now it’s time for you to fill that presence with something or someone new.
How do you love people from afar? Let us know in the comments below!