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As Sonya Renee Taylor so eloquently explains in this video, “the system of policing is the system of patriarchy” and the same energy that felt entitled to the lives of George Floyd, Rayshard Brooks, Breonna Taylor and Tony McDade is the same energy that leads Black men to feel entitled to Black womxn’s bodies and lives."

White supremacy, the system that was built (in part) to oppress Black people, is the overseer of patriarchy, misogyny and transphobia. The energy that we put into those systems (intentional or otherwise) feed the same white supremist monster that we’re fighting today, a monster that our ancestors and elders fought for generations before us.

Audre Lorde said, “the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.”

Iyanna Dior was beaten (to the point of fearing death) by a group of Black men at a convenience store over a car accident.

Oluwatoyin (Toyin) Salau tweeted about being sexually assaulted, went missing for days, then turned up dead — all in the midst of her fighting for our lives on the front lines of the current uprising. The Black man who confessed to her murder was arrested for the assault of another woman just in May.

Dominique Rem’mie Fells’ dismembered body was found in a river and the suspect is a Black man who is nowhere to be found, but had a cutting tool and blood in his house.

Riah Milton was gunned down during a robbery; two of her murders are Black men.

A group of Black men (some wearing “Black Lives Matter” t-shirts) threw a Black woman in a dumpster while laughing and recording as “she cried and laid there in defeat.”

Even after all of this, J. Cole released a song asking to be coddled through ignorance and tone policing Noname simply because she validly criticized “top selling rappers” profiting from Black plight while staying silent during this uprising. Haven’t we been chanting silence is violence at these protests?

In addition to the daily occurrences of touching womxn’s bodies without their permission, referring to them as bitches and hoes, and catcalling, every single one of the recent acts listed above are acts of violence Black men commit against Black womxn. Acts rooted in the master’s tools of patriarchy, misogyny and transphobia.

In this video, Sonya Renee Taylor paraphrases a statement from Fred Hampton: “Without a political analysis (and) internal shift of the way in which systems of oppression live in you, you will dismantle one and then you will step into the position of the oppressor. You will become that which it was that you attempted to dismantle.”

Black men, if we do not destroy the master’s tools within ourselves, we are forcing Black womxn and ourselves onto a never ending treadmill of oppression while acting in service of the oppressor.

We have to do better. We have to decolonize our minds. We have a responsibility to recognize the toxicity that we have been socialized and raised to believe, especially the things that Black womxn have been telling us are harmful to them. Then we must do the work to unlearn those things. We have to let go of ego, actively listen to womxn and learn to empathize with their truth.

Your “Black Lives Matter” has to account for more than the heterosexual cisgender men you identify with. It has to be intersectional and account for all Black lives. It has to stand for Black womxn (cisgender and transgender) and non-binary Black folx. It has to denounce the patriarchy, misogyny and transphobia that dehumanizes, oppresses, erases and harms them.

To stop harming, harassing and killing is the absolute least that we can do to honor, support and protect the womxn who give us life, who raise us, who teach us, who fight for us and who protect us. We’ve been taking and subjugating for too long, it’s past time to give back.

I’m struggling to find more words for all that I am trying to say, but some other folx captured it perfectly, so I’m amplifying those voices here and placing resources for Black men to start or continue this work below.


– Google

A great place to research new vocabulary words. A free resource with articles, videos, photos and everything you need to build your knowledge.

– Decolonize All the Things

Online resources on patriarchy and gender organized by a Black man.

– Tea With Queen and J.

A podcast where these topics have been discussed for years, featuring “two womanist race nerds talking liberation, politics and pop culture over tea. Dismantling white supremacist patriarchal capitalism one episode at a time.”

– Chi The Woke Ratchet Statement

A brief but thorough explanation of things to consider, analyze and reflect on.

More Resources

"7 Orgs Advocating For Black Trans Lives That You Can Donate To Right Now"

"5 Speeches That Speak To The Reality Of Being Black And Trans In America"