Modern times have forced us to assume that living a life of constant stress, anxiety, and anticipation for impending doom is simply the norm. That feeling burnt out means we’re productive, and ending every day completely wiped clean means we’ve ticked off our to-do list. However, being intentional about protecting your well-being is crucial. That’s especially true for Black women who find themselves carrying an extra load of racial stress, gendered expectations, and cultural caretaking norms.

The Nervous System Budget refers to managing your body’s limited daily energy for stress and demands, treating regulation as “deposits” (rest,  joy, safety, grounding, meaningful connections, healthy habits) and disregulation as “expenses” (overstimulation, technology, emotional labor, chronic stress, anxiety-inducing tasks.) It’s a thoughtful way to make sure you never overextend yourself while still tending to life’s daily needs and demands. Here’s a deeper dive into the idea, and how to craft an effective budget for yourself.

What is the Nervous System Budget?

Your nervous system budget basically determines on an emotional and physiological level how much stress, stimulation, and regulation your body can handle before hitting overwhelm. Every interaction, expectation, and stressor either withdraws from or deposits into this budget. For instance, spending time with the people you love, indulging in a self-care task, and doing something creatively stimulating is most certainly an investment towards your wellbeing. However, caring for someone without reciprocal support or indulging in high-stress work will deplete you. It’s impossible to live a life where there’s no withdrawals at all; the secret is to make sure that you don’t go over your spend limit.

For Black women especially, everyday life can demand more withdrawals than deposits. This is why it’s important to get clear on what your nervous system budget is and stick to a healthy range where you aren’t in a constant state of overextending.

How To Craft Your Own Nervous System Budget

When Black women in particular manage their nervous system with intention, they create sustainable power and peace for themselves and the ancestors before them who may not have had the privilege. Ready to craft your own nervous system budget? Here’s what you’ve got to know.

  • Recognize your stress response. You could be in sympathetic activation, aka fight/flight mode, which looks like racing heart, tension, and agitation. You can also be in parasympathetic freeze mode, which looks like numbness, dissociation, and fatigue. Having that awareness can help you intercept reactions before they drain you even more.
  • Making sure you have enough deposits in your daily life takes planning. This means valuing the quality of your sleep as non-negotiable, maintaining connection with loved ones, prioritizing movement that feels good, performing rituals that ground you like tea, prayer, and breathwork, and making sure every day involves a little bit of gentle offerings to your body like stretching and walking.
  • In order to properly manage just how many expenses are bleeding you dry, you need boundaries. Even if it feels uncomfortable to instill them, they are vital energy management tools that will protect you from not living a life that belongs to you. Saying no protects your reserves, and saying yes to what feels aligned will feed you.
  • Just like how you’d approach a financial budget, you want to plan your week with your nervous system budget in mind. Identify which days will be high-draindays, involving a lot of meetings, social demands, and make sure you buffer every expensive with some sort of recovery time afterward. Treat rest and rejuvenation like it’s a nonnegotiable appointment all the same.

You want to start everyday asking, “Where are my withdrawals today, and what are my planned deposits?” Here’s a sample day honoring a healthy nervous system budget, where all setbacks are nourished with self-investments.

Morning

Potential withdrawals:

  • Checking emails immediately
  • Rushing out the door
  • Doomscrolling social media

Intentional deposits:

  • 5 minutes of slow breathing in bed 
  • No phone for the first 10 minutes
  • A grounding ritual like a warm shower, prayer, journaling, or affirmations
  • High-protein + nourishing breakfast to support blood sugar, which is huge for nervous system stability

This way, you’re starting the day with deposits so that you’re not already in deficit by the time noon rolls around.

Work

Potential withdrawals:

  • Meetings
  • Microaggressions or code-switching
  • Performance pressure
  • Decision fatigue

Intentional deposits:

  • Nervous system resets between meetings, including deep exhales and tapping
  • Drinking water
  • Standing up and stretching every 60–90 minutes
  • Intentional pausing before responding to stressful emails
  • Eating lunch away from your screen if possible

When it comes to work, you certainly can’t avoid all withdrawals, but you can definitely lower the cost.

Evening

Potential withdrawals:

  • Family demands
  • Emotional labor
  • Social obligations when you’re already depleted

Intentional deposits:

  • Choose one nourishing interaction instead of overextending
  • Low-stimulation activities like slow cooking, stretching, and lighting some candles
  • Watching something funny, as laugher regulates the nervous system
  • Low lights and no screen 60 minutes before bed

Sleep is the biggest deposit you can make for yourself, so you want me make sure your wind down time is sacred.