In our current consumption focused society, shopping has become a coping mechanism for many. A long day or a moment of loneliness and suddenly you find yourself adding to cart to take the edge off. That habit could be an invitation to ask yourself why you are inclined to pull out your credit card when things feel off. Money expert Destiny Dalion believes people should approach their spending with curiosity. Most of the time, she says, the purchase itself is not the point.
“Most emotional purchases aren’t really about the item,” Dailon said. “They’re about what we’re trying to regulate: stress, loneliness, burnout, or a desire for control or belonging.”
Shame tends to deepen the cycle, while curiosity creates space to pause.
Pausing Without Punishment
One of the gentlest questions Dalion suggests asking is simple but revealing. What am I actually trying to soothe right now? Sometimes the answer has nothing to do with buying anything at all. It might be rest, reassurance, or comfort. Other times, the purchase still makes sense. The difference is awareness instead of urgency.
Building in time can also change everything. A 48-hour or even seven-day wait does not have to be a hard no. It simply allows emotional distance.
“If you still want the item once the initial feeling settles, that desire is usually more grounded,” Dalion said. “And if you don’t, you’ve learned something about what you actually needed in that moment.”
Short-term Relief vs. Real Support
When it comes to telling the difference between a purchase that supports your well-being and one that only offers short-term relief, Dalion says the answer usually shows up after the excitement fades.
“Well-being purchases tend to integrate into your life,” she explained. “They support your routines, confidence, or personal growth in a way that lasts beyond the moment of buying.”
Short-term relief, on the other hand, often leaves guilt or clutter behind once the dopamine wears off. A helpful pause is to think beyond the checkout moment. Will future you thank you for this purchase? Does the benefit extend beyond the initial thrill?
Clarity also plays a role. Knowing your priorities, your personal style, and the life you are building makes it easier to resist reactive spending. Dalion suggests asking yourself whether you genuinely love or need the item, or if it only feels urgent because everyone else seems to have it.
“Identifying the ‘why’ behind a purchase often reveals whether it’s true self-expression or just momentary influence,” she said.
Joy Belongs in Your Budget
Joy should never be treated as the enemy of financial health. Especially for people who grew up associating money with stress or scarcity. Dalion says joy is often what makes budgeting sustainable. Luxury and responsibility can coexist.
Excluding joy from your budget can lead to deprivation, which often shows up later as rebound spending. Dalion loves the idea of a “soft life fund.” It is a separate account set aside specifically for luxuries and experiences that improve your quality of life. Knowing that money is already allocated removes guilt and impulsivity from the equation.
“Joy teaches your nervous system that money isn’t only about survival,” she said. “It’s about creating autonomy, options, and a life you actually enjoy.”
For those already feeling financially overwhelmed, Dalion encourages rethinking the language we use around money. Instead of asking, “Can I afford this?,” which can feel restrictive or shame-based, she suggests a gentler question. “Does this support my priorities right now?”
Money is ultimately a tool. When approached with intention rather than fear, you often feel more control over life. Asking whether a purchase aligns with where you are and where you are going brings clarity back into the decision.
Creating Spending Rituals
Comfort does not have to come from impulse.
“Soothing spending works best when it’s planned, not impulsive,” Dalion said.
Small rituals can replace reactive habits. Weekly flowers, a monthly solo coffee date, a quarterly beauty restock, or a scheduled spa day can all serve as intentional comforts.
“When these comforts are built into your routine, the brain feels less urgency to seek novelty through impulsive spending,” she explained.
Before price, Dalion believes there is a more important question to ask. “Why am I buying this right now?”
Fatigue, stress, influence, and the desire for quick reward often drive our decisions more than need. Wanting to invest in how you look and feel is not the problem. Fashion, beauty, and self-expression can absolutely support confidence and well-being. The key is whether the purchase comes from self-awareness or stress.
A powerful follow-up question brings everything into focus. “Does this purchase align with the life I’m building, or is it just solving how I feel today?” Over time, those small pauses turn impulsive spending into intentional decision-making and help build both financial confidence and self-trust.