"I Ain't Sorry": 17 things you shouldn't apologize for in your 20's
July 12, 2016 at 3:00 pm
Your 20’s can be a strange era of time. On one hand, we feel invincible and capable of conquering anything, but we also find ourselves questioning and doubting almost every move we make. If there’s one thing you should know during this seemingly tumultuous time is that it should be spent being unapologetic about doing you and making moves that not only make you happy but make you greater. Here’s are 17 things in your 20’s that you should not stress over, or even apologize for.
If you don’t believe me, let Queen Bey put you up on game.
1. Telling people “no”.
If there’s one thing that you absolutely do not want to waste during this precious era, it is definitely time. Whether it’s time you spend with your friends or even working your 9-to-5 just to stay alive, it is imperative that your days are always spent wisely. Even though telling people “no” can be hard and a bit scary in some situations, you reserve the right to exercise your voice and say it. So say it like you mean it.
2. Letting go of old friends.
Sometimes when it comes to friendship, we focus on the longevity of a relationship rather than letting go when the season has passed. There’s no sense in holding on to people who are either toxic or not contributing to your glow up. Friends are important so keep the quality ones close to you and don’t feel bad about ending a friendship that isn’t worth saving.
3. Speaking up about things that you’re passionate about, even when it upsets people in the room.
When you grow up and get to experience life beyond the confounds of certain rules and restrictions, the values you may have once regarded as central to who you are may get shaken up a little bit. What may emerge is a whole new outlook on life and a more awakened approach to the woes of the world. Your new ideas and voice may shock some people, maybe even make them mad. But, never let anyone silence you.
4. Seeking professional help.
Nobody is “fine” all of the time. We all have issues that we’re trying to work out, experiences we are still trying to process and battles that we are fighting hard to win. It’s in those moments of feeling like we are going to fall apart that it’s so pivotal to speak to someone that can help. Never feel bad for reaching out to a professional to take care of yourself from the inside, out.
5. Cancelling plans at the last minute to spend time by yourself.
Let’s be honest, if you were hoping that the plans would be canceled anyway, you didn’t really want to go in the first place. Don’t feel bad about taking care of yourself and pulling out of that party you said you were going to attend. Listen to what you want and be honest with yourself. Sometimes the only company you really need is yourself. Cuddle up with a glass of wine big enough to swim in and go in on your favorite food. It’s called self-care. Do you.>
6. Chasing your passion and hustling. You’re booked.
When you decide to marry the money, some folks may feel a way about how less often you come around. Let them know it’s not personal, but you’re on a mission to stay committed to the hustle. Whether they decide to respect the grind or not, never let it stop you from chasing your paper.
7. Spending a few extra coins to make some unforgettable memories.
Take that solo trip, go to that concert, or go on a road trip across the country. Now is the time make it rain on you because as we get older, we take fewer opportunities to be spontaneous. Don’t allow fear to navigate the choices you make today because later you may regret it. But, save the money before you spend it and always be prepared for whatever life might throw at you.
8. Being broke.
If you are not at a level of balling out of control like your friends, that is absolutely okay. Having more doesn’t always mean having it all. In your 20’s, sometimes you walk up to the register not knowing if that transaction will clear and even have to lean on family or friends to hold you over until that next check. Never let anyone make you feel like you’re worth is designed by the number of bills in your wallet because when you do finally start making that money you want, remembering your broke 20’s will always keep you humble.
9. Not having all your shit in order.
Whoever made up the rule that you should have determined your life’s purpose by the age of 20-something, clearly hasn’t met me. Your 20’s are about figuring it out, trying new things, and being open to new opportunities in the hope that it will lead to a fulfilled destiny of whoever it is you are meant to be. It’s easy to compare yourself to other people that appear to have it all figured out, but understand that their journey is not yours so trust your process and you’ll figure things out in due time.
10. Having meaningless (safe) sex.
Sex is fun and if you’re going to have it, you’d be doing yourself a disservice if you don’t get acquainted with how YOU like it, whether that be with a partner and/or by yourself. Explore your body, get a few toys, and test your limits a bit. But, no matter who you decide to get kinky with, be sure to get tested and stay protected.
11. Moving back in with your parents.
Despite popular opinion, moving back in with your people doesn’t always mean the struggle is real. If things didn’t pan out the way you planned or you’re just taking an opportunity to save some coins, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for moving back into your childhood bedroom.
12. Losing your faith and/or your religion.
No matter what you do or don’t believe in, making the choice of what or who to believe in isn’t always a concrete decision. You will go through times when you will doubt the values you were raised with and you will have moments when you’re faith is stronger than ever before. Don’t beat yourself up for having questions. Seek out the answers and make a decision that best suits who you are and the life you want to have.
13. Taking risks.
If there’s one time in life where you have the most opportunity to do anything you want with much less to lose, it’s right now. Move to that city, take that dream job across the world, or just strike up a conversation with the person you’ve been eyeing for so long. If you want the rewards, you’ve got to be willing to take the risks to get there.
14. Choosing to be single or falling in love more than once.
That whole idea that of you finding the love of your life in college and being married by 26 is a dream, not achieved by all. Your 20’s are the time to get to know yourself and love yourself before you commit to loving someone else. Take all the time you need and do what works best for you. Date yourself or date others but, don’t compare your love life to those around you.
You will fail. You might fail once or a thousand times, but in order to find greater success, you’ve got to take those downfalls and turn them into lessons. The time you spend now making mistakes is only a part of the process and setting you up for a greater destiny. Embrace the mistakes, then dust yourself off and keep it moving.
16. Never settling for less.
No matter what standards others have set for you or opinions anyone may have about what you do or who you are, never let anyone diminish the worth that you build for yourself. Honor yourself and demand to be respected in a way that affirms your being every day. If the people around you can’t accept that you won’t compromise what you deserve for what they want, be strong enough to move on.
17. Exhibiting peak levels of carefree living.
At the end of the day, it’s important to recognize that this is your life and you’ve got to protect it. Protect your dreams, your goals, your body, your feelings, and all that embodies who you are. Living your life based upon the confines of what someone or society dictates you should do, is no way to live. Do whatever the hell you want because this is the age where you begin to lay the foundation of who you are. Make memories, make money, and most importantly love yourself first.