Aunt Lula Mae is at the grocery store picking up ingredients for the egg custard that no one has the heart to tell her is trash. And, Grandma Geraldine is at the house practicing how she's going to walk down the aisle Sunday morning in her mammoth sized hat, ready to stunt on the other missionaries. Your weeks-long gameplan to secure all the eggs over your big cousins.
Behold. Resurrection Sunday is upon us.
Photo: Giphy
Here's a play-by-play of the events on and before Easter Sunday that you'll never forget as a child.
1. The Easter Suits and Dresses
Photo: Polly
Creased pants. Itchy crinoline. White lace gloves. Toe pinching shoes. Multicolored bow ties. You were dressed for all of the pageantries that come with Easter Sunday. The more pastels the better. This is the freshest day of the year and is truly a fashion show. The moment you walk in the door, it's runway time. All eyes are on how well you're dressed.
2. Getting Your Hair Laid the Night Before
Photo: Giphy
The boys spent Saturday afternoon in line at the crowded barbershop and the girls awaited their fate at the salon. For the moms who took great pleasure in styling their girls' hair, the kitchen became a beauty oasis. Big bows and rollers galore. When she turned on the stove top, you know what's up. Her weapon of choice came from hiding. The hot comb had the entire house (and your head) smelled like charcoal and blue magic grease.
3. Waking up early AF for Sunrise service
Photo: Giphy
You stayed up all night doing the prep work for Easter. Forget comfort because the rollers were painful between your head and the pillow. And, the anticipation of wondering what kind of basket awaits you in the living room kept you awake. You quietly wept as the 5:00 a.m. alarm went off. Sunrise Service at churches can begin as early as 6:30 a.m.
4. The LIT Sunrise breakfast
Photo: Key and Peele
He will give you beauty for ashes. Because you had to get up at the same time as He rose, the church provided the best breakfast immediately following the early morning service. Because the food is so good, you aren't as upset that you're dressed like an Easter basket. But the gag is..if your parents were really into the word, you'd likely stay for the regular service which could mean another two to three hours of church.
5. The overflow
Photo: Giphy
Easter, Mother's Day, and Christmas Eve are peak times for church attendance. These sacred occasions are reserved for the members you forgot were members. Lowkey everyone is watching everyone wondering where folk have been the last 49 Sundays. Your head pops up every few minutes to see the new and old faces. Pastor notices too because somehow the irregular attendee becomes a part of the sermon. That being said, you better arrive at least 15 minutes prior to service as overcrowding is imminent and the parking attendants will make you park so far away from the church that you'll be sweating by the time you get inside.
6. The Easter Speech
Photo: Annie
Your time to shine. The moment you've been preparing for. Your Sunday School teacher let you draw, at random, which speech would be yours. You prayed to select one that wasn't too long or short enough for the little kids. You've gone over the words, line by line, and sure that you know the speech by heart. When they call your name, you walk to the mic nervous or even overconfident AF. In the back of your mind lingers the terror of missing a word which meant your memorization of the next line was shot to hell. Then again, you're in competition with your peers to see who would best perform. And at your horror, your mom was staring a hole in you, silently mouthing the words to you from the third pew. Even if your nerves get the best of you, it doesn't matter because the congregation thinks you're cute and will clap with the appropriate "aww" and "bless your heart." When it's over, you take the great exhale of your life. It's over..until next year.
7. The pictures
Photo: Paid in Full
Here's the drill: a solo pic, a pic with you and the basket, a pic with your brothers and sisters, another pic with your cousins, then the family photo. You better hold the same smile in them all or else it would prolong the additional festivities. Better stay clean or else. Your parents spent good money to ensure your impeccable fashion. No time for spills or smudges, bih. The whites of whites better remain pristine for the family photos. You can't rock all white if your white looking dingy. That's law.
8. The Feast
Photo: New Girl
The ham went in the night before. All of the cakes are iced. The biscuits are baked to perfection. Grams threw down even more than the year before. Easter is exhausting AF and you're ready to throw deal. Honestly, truly, you're replenishing your body for the main event.
9. The Hunt
Photo: Martin
It's on. The night before, you helped your parents decorate the eggs in funky colors. Now it's time to find them. While the adults are outside doing the hiding, you peek out the window making notes for your strategy. If egg dying wasn't your thing, you could count on the plastic eggs with candy or dollar bills stuffed inside. This is not a game. You're bobbing and weaving between all of your siblings and cousins hoping to collect the most eggs in your basket. Nothing will stand in your way. Back in the house, you're peeling the eggs as careful as possible, hoping not to leave behind any shell. Your day is practically ruined when you bite into it and feel a crunch. Once you become a teenager your Easter baskets turn into gift cards. You're just there for the money and the food.
When it's all said and done, you're eating candy and eggs until the sun goes down.
Photo: The Nutty Professor
You're tired as hell from the festivities, but it's another year of sweet goodness in your childhood memory bank. To this day, you probably find yourself keeping to the same traditions in your adulthood.
