1.23 billion people log onto Facebook every day, up 23% every year. The average person spends about 20 minutes scrolling, liking, commenting, or just observing. Crazy right? So why does it feel more…lonely than it used to? Especially at a time when its become vital to us, in terms of self-validation? MONEY is the simple answer. I personally believe that social media will self-destruct, but anyway. Let's unpack this one-ton puppy here.

We have all become addicts, and your phone is your remote. Pew Research shows that 46% of Americans expressed that they could not live without their phones. If you're one of them, go ahead and nod. Acceptance is the first step. A study on millennials showed we were using our phones for FIVE HOURS a day…85 separate times. YIKES guys. They're saying it will all add up to about a third of your life.

The addictive pace at which we check, refresh our timelines etc, begins to affect our brains. Our productivity, creativity, stress levels, attention span, and memory are all affected by the internet. Millennials are now more forgetful than seniors. That means that if you are NOT on social media, the odds are you can think circles around everyone else, and probably hold an actual conversation and focus on the environment in front of you.

 But what if I told you that all of these shifts in social media were by design?

If we're constantly scrolling, reposting, feeling pressure to keep up and stay relevant, the quality of what we put out slumps. We see the same memes over and over again, the same Snapchat filters. Everything starts to feel less stimulating. We like less things. *Scroll* *refresh* *eye roll* *Scroll* *refresh* *eye roll*

Big brother is always watching, to see what you do like. Kosinski's "Big Data" system is designed to know you as well as your mama does by seeing 150 of your likes? And with more than 300 likes, they can tell you more about yourself than you even know?

So now algorithms are a thing, and organic reach is not. They know you. They bore you, they sell your enthusiasm to the highest buyer. Advertising pop-ups catch your tired eyes. They even try to tell you what you like. For example, I listen to conscious hip-hop, but I listen to The Black Opera more than A Tribe Called Quest. ATCQ has a bigger label, and more money so guess whose album release pops up in my feed three times the day they both drop? See how they did that? We don't even decide what goes viral anymore y'all, they tell us what's funny. And if that's the case what happens when I post a heartfelt post about my daughter? What happens to the local artist or comedian whose video would have gone viral five years ago? Lets hope they have money to sponsor their work. Because otherwise , you're probably going to see a "say amen if you love the Lord" post because it has more comments. Or "Vintage! Hollow body electric guitar!!" and a "shop now"….er, um – whatever gets you going.

Congrats, we are now more reliant on validation, trying harder in less interesting ways, and feeling more alone. Sad!

So what can we do?

Knowledge is power. Don't take it personally if you don't get the reaction you hoped for — now you know the real reason. We do care about you, we're just caught in the matrix. Change your settings to most recent, and show some love to someone you forgot you were even friends with. Expand your inner circle. Or…log off and look around. Make the world around you real again.