April 1st, 2016, in the year of “Formation,” BeySeason began. With a pending world pilgrimage and blessed garments, Beylievers patiently awaited an inevitable release of melodies from on high. After what felt like an eternity, we received sweet manna from the sky: Lemonade.
As we impatiently await this Bey blessing, there are 10 Commandments of BeySeason we must remember in preparation.
I. Thou shall study the previous scriptures.
Digest the text Beyoncé has bestowed to prepare for B6.
II. Thou can’t hurry Beysus
She may not come when you want, but she’s always on time.
III. Thou shall pay bills…eventually.
Save coins for tickets and hymns, and HBO Now. One need not heat or lights to praise the Texas Bama.
IV. Thou shall not curse Bey
She won’t hear you but her followers will. Don’t disturb the Hive.
V. Thou shall prove one’s coordination.
Practice your “Single Ladies” hand gesture. Perfect the “Crazy In Love” uh-oh. Don’t be caught on the 1 & 3.
VI. Thou shall spread the news.
This joy is too good to keep to one’s self. Share the good news of Formation.
VII. Thou shall surrender thy edges.
Better to offer thy follicles willingly than have them snatched like a thief in the night.
VIII. Thou shall be woke.
Bey is waving more than her feminist flag. Make sure ye seek information.
IX. Thou shall not place another before Bey.
If thou claimest to be a Beyliever, thou knowest one fave.
X. Thou shall slay cause she slays
Or thou shall be eliminated.
Study the commandments and show yourself approved. Lemonade is coming April 23rd.
