I just went to jail for a couple of days and to make a long story short, guys — it was amazing. Everything about it was a five-star Airbnb Condo experience in the Dominican Republic. If you want a quick and free vacation, get a bench warrant, or do something else crazy, and you’re on your way to paradise.

Sike!

You do know the three opening sentences were complete and utter BS, right? After spending some extremely slow days in the pokey, I came out with a few observations that might be worth sharing. The main observation being the overcrowding of Black women in the facility, along with other interesting tidbits.

1. For starters, “chi chi” isn’t that bad. No, really! When you hear of the ingredients, it may sound like it would tarnish your taste buds for life, but it doesn’t.

Here’s a quick recipe summary: we took potato chips, mixed them with wet ramen noodles, let it sit, smashed the bag flat, perhaps added hot sauce and then ate up. Sounds gross, but not so bad.

2. I noticed that the homeless “occupants” would intentionally seek to commit a crime for food and shelter. Now this might be a long shot, but maybe it’s because of the lack of resources for displaced men and women? (Insert sarcasm here.)

3. Let’s not discount the mentally ill jail population. According to the Treatment Advocacy Center & National Sheriffs Association, in 44 states and D.C at least one of the prisons holds more people in jail cells than the largest state psychiatric hospital. Is there any care given to these people who are suffering? Not that I’ve seen — other than the sedatives that they receive several times a day to remain “stable.”

4. The facility that housed me was less than sanitary. From mildewed showers, rusted toilets and critters running in the night, I would say an alley would have been more acceptable shelter. Encountered were also those dreaded days where there would be three to a cell due to prison overcapacity. Therefore, adding to unpleasant odors as well as attitudes.

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5. Jail is definitely not a drug and alcohol rehab facility. As a person who has endured withdrawals, I know firsthand that they feel like hell flowing through your body when you lack the medications to properly taper off. Watching addicts go through withdrawals without meds may have been one of the most heart-wrenching experiences that I have ever had to witness. Being tossed into a hole with a mild sedative for several days is hardly rehab.

6. What about those people that were just destined to be there? Seriously, there were women in jail — mostly African American — telling me that they basically grew up incarcerated. Per Tolerance.org, the school to prison pipeline starts in the classroom, which is usually overcrowded with poverty ridden children. Within these classrooms, you have certain administration that lack the training to handle the behavior in a positive learning environment. This results in a zero-tolerance policy, which in turn pushes the child out of the classroom and into the street. Once a child is forced out of the school into the streets, they usually see no other option other than to embark upon a life of crime until they likely end up in the criminal justice system.

7. On a different note, there is no one checking for you at the women’s jail named “Big Bertha.” Someone may ask you for your green baloney — which you don’t want anyway — but that’s about it. Also, I don’t know what the dark purple liquid was in the “beverage” that they served at every meal, but I kept away from it. No specific reason, it just didn’t sit well in my spirit.

8. Lastly, women in jail must have a degree in cosmetology. Their skills include doing my natural hair, nails and waxing eyebrows like salon quality. My mugshot looked like the crypt keeper; however, when I stepped out, I resembled a Glamour shot.

My observations were a firsthand experience of what is actually going on inside of the jail. However, most of these perceptions we’ve known all along. I was simply lucky enough to go to a women’s jail to await a court date. There are those Black women that have no choice but to endure this treatment for longer.

It appears that a lot of the overpopulation within the jail derives from those who are suffering from mental illnesses that not being housed in the correct facilities. In addition to that, addicts are simply being charged without receiving adequate care in rehab. Kids being kicked out of schools are turning to crime to support their families. Lastly, the homeless are not being provided with enough resources to get off the streets and actually remain stable. These are simply my observations.

Lisa Crump Burton

Writing since September 2018 · 2 stories contributed