"This is driving me crazy" are probably the words that run through my mind the first 2 hours of the day. I find myself thinking back to the summer of 2011, the summer before my 1st year of college. Along with every "congratulations", came a "just graduate and you'll be fine" these words make me chuckle now. Two years removed from college and over $45,000 in debt, and I'm still not "fine".

Black millennials have bought their American Dream online, and a lot of our packages have gotten lost in the mail. When I look at what my education has truly cost me compared to the return on investment I feel scammed, and it's not just me, it's half of us. According to the US Department of Education "Black college graduates have nearly $25,000 more student loan debt: an average of $52,726 in student debt, compared to $28,006 for the typical White bachelor’s graduate."

If black students owe upwards of $50,000 back for education surely they're receiving jobs that will allow them to make good on their promise to pay, right? Nah bruh.

The national average income for black households is $43,300 leaving a $28,000 wage gap with white households averaging at $71,300 annually according to PEW. That gap gets even wider when we look at the city of Chicago with black households bringing in an average of $30,303 annually compared to a $70,960 white household average, a shocking $40,000 wage gap.

Photo: MakeAGIF

Opportunity also plays a big role in black graduate unemployment. Author and professor Nancy DiTomaso interviewed 246 working and middle-class white individuals about their career history and found that 70% of them held positions because of an inside connection. Yes, the saying is true, it's not what you know, it's who you know, but, who do we know? If America's corporate world is controlled by white men how do we push their sons, daughters, nieces, and nephews out of the way for a seat at the table?

Black students are borrowing more just to make less in America, and if we aren't making a livable wage, our debt only multiplies. The US Department of Education said itself that "Nearly half (48 percent) of all Black graduates owe more on their federal undergraduate loans four years after graduating with bachelor’s degrees, compared to just 17 percent of White graduates."

Let me make this statement real for you. I borrowed about $40,000 for my education, at my current wage, I will have paid back upwards of $85,000 upon completion of my payment schedule simply because I don't make enough to pay back my loan in terms of minimal interest. Black students are graduating college more than ever, but is it truly benefiting us? The answer is yes and no. Besides education, college provides a sense of well roundedness, the experience can truly benefit one socially and ease teens into the responsibility of adulthood. The question remains, is the experience worth a lifetime of debt and continued struggling wages? If we can't conclude that college is creating a better future for our children economically why are we pushing our children into a pool of debt most of them can't swim in?

College basically takes all your money and puts u in debt just so u can graduate and still be broke— Action (@Jacti0nJ) January 14, 2017

College is a big mess of "will I graduate on time" and "I'm broke af now and I know damn well I'm going to be more broke when I graduate"— Savanah Stevenson (@svan_stevenson) March 22, 2017

We didn't know it would be this way. America has a way of making us think that opportunity is up for grabs but when we see the numbers we're slapped with reality. Senior Economist at the Center for Economics John Schmitt says "College degrees do have value. But what we are trying to show here is that this is not about individuals or individual effort. There is simply overwhelming evidence that discrimination remains a major feature of the labor market." Schmitt also debunks the claim the black students don't choose lucrative majors with study statistics showing that of 7% of white math and computer science graduates are unemployed compared to 11% of black math and computer science graduates.

Schmitt admits that during his study he sought out black people who "did everything right" just to prove that there is a deeper issue than just getting an education. Aside from unemployment, those of us who are employed, are battling with choosing between passion and a paycheck. While one half of black graduates are fighting for employment the rest of us working positions we're over qualified for. According to the center of economics’ report titled "A College Degree is No Guarantee", 55% of black recent college graduates will work a job that doesn't require a degree that number is 20% lower for all recent graduates.

At least a couple of times a week, I walk into the office of my low paying job that I'm well over qualified for, take a look around at its bleak gray walls, drag myself into my cubicle, fall into my chair heavily, and my eyes begin to fill with tears. I'm choosing paycheck over passion because I'm desperate. Other times I walk into this same office determined to disregard all of the meaningless work that crosses my desk and I choose passion. It's a constant battle that is driving me crazy. Passion or paycheck? Paycheck or passion? Paycheck today. Passion tomorrow. Never both. Who gets both? Not us. Not me. We can't continue to make our children believe that the American Dream is something they can buy, I would hate for their package to get lost in the mail.

kayceeshakur

Writing since September 2017 · 1 story contributed