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Like many throughout the nation and world, I was glued to the TV on Sunday while watching the NBA All-Star game. In the midst of all the players dazzling and delighting with their skill, Anfernee Simons took home the gold for his superior dunking skills, Steph Curry busted those three point shots in his trademark style and Giannis Antetokounmpo led #TeamLebron to victory with his flawless performance. Throughout the night, the players were all love, cheering each other on and celebrating their peers’ talent, including LeBron James dramatically falling over the barrier between the stands as he playfully fainted over his teammates’ adept shooting or blocking.

The playfulness, joy and camaraderie made me think back to the NBA Finals, that was only a few months ago, but feel like an eternity ago (with elections, a Capitol insurrection and too many COVID-19 deaths, making time feel like a depressing vortex). Similar to the All-Star game, we witnessed two teams with phenomenal players engage in the athletic ballet and kinetic improvisational jazz of the NBA Finals. I marveled at the great feats, contortions and displays of strength and skill demonstrated by the Miami Heat and Los Angeles Lakers. I chuckled at the stylistic flairs of triumph, like Anthony Davis highlighting his unibrow after a game-winning buzzer beater.

I’ll leave the written highlight reel to the people who devote their lives to sports coverage, but it was a dynamic, edge-of-your-seat six games that had me guessing about the outcome, only until the first quarter of game six, when the Lakers unequivocally urged the Heat to go sit down somewhere, kiddie table preferably. The blow-out was decisive and insurmountable.

In the days after the buzzer sounded to conclude the game, I was consumed by coverage of the finals, the interviews with players and coaching staff, and former NBA champions and journalists dissecting the game and its meaning. Much attention focused on the skill and symbiosis of the lead architects of this win, LeBron James and Anthony Davis (and to a lesser extent, Frank Vogel), as it rightfully should have. Coverage also highlighted various aspects of the “bubble” and how all parties contended with the nature of that unusually challenging NBA season, wrought with pandemic protections and racial justice activism alike.

What struck me most — and received short shrift — was the emotional depth and complexity expressed by these men. These Black men. This was striking because far too often Black men’s emotions are relegated exclusively to anger and apathy. When facing the trials and triumphs of their daily lives, the prevailing narrative about Black men consigns their emotions to two extremes: they are either angry, which includes lashing out violently and intimidatingly; or they are withdrawn, reposed to not caring, detached and cool. Cool, not in the cool way, mind you, but in the distant and problematic way.

On display throughout last year’s playoffs and then the NBA Finals, however, was a full range of emotion demonstrated by these men with global platforms. I witnessed concern, vigilance and strategic planning with the National Basketball Players Association’s collaboration and negotiation with the NBA league officials to craft a “bubble” plan that would keep everyone safe. The expression of love, connection and trust was on full view as the players supported each other on and off the court, pushing each other to persevere in pursuit of their championship goals while also enjoying “bubble” downtime with pool play and video games.

Deep camaraderie and feelings of respect and admiration were evident with how the team members, including opposing team members, spoke of each other. The Heat’s Jimmy Butler honored and celebrated the championship-winning skills of LeBron James and the Lakers, and recognized the Heat would need to turn on the (ahem) "heat" in order to push themselves to a win.

Despite the competitive nature of sports, and a championship and the monetary benefits hanging in the balance, LeBron never hesitated to praise the Heat for being a formidable team and Jimmy Butler, in particular, for having exceptional speed and skill. When an interviewer stated that Anthony Davis was the best team member LeBron ever had, LeBron stated that the accolade “was a compliment to Anthony Davis” and his caliber of skill. He also celebrated “ ‘Do ” (Rajon Rondo) for his indelible contributions to the Lakers’ advancement with his prescient, critical assists.

When the latest instances of police and vigilante violence reinvigorated the movement for racial justice, we were given a master class in courage and sacrifice with the NBA players’ decision to boycott games to raise their voice in protest of continuing social ills. This demonstration was rooted in a deep feeling of collective fate, with the players’ understanding that their wealth and privilege do not insulate them from racism’s ravages. In former Clippers coach Doc Rivers’ impassioned plea for the United States to reciprocate the humanity and love Black people extend to the country, there was a deep well of sadness, grief and bewilderment.

When protests and calls to right wrongs fell short with yet another miscarriage of justice in the questionable grand jury proceedings that resulted in the lack of indictment of officers associated with Breonna Taylor’s murder, LeBron James demonstrated compassion and sympathy to Breona Taylor’s family. He conveyed a palpable sadness and regret; and an incredulity at the outcome while he struggled to craft words of solace in the face of the unimaginable grief endured by the family.

In a powerful rejection of the enduring myth that Black men abandon their families and children in the interest of selfishness, lawlessness, or outright neglect, the world witnessed LeBron James expressing hesitation and a lack of surety in his weighing of the worthiness of sacrificing meaningful moments with his family, like his son’s 16th birthday and daughter starting kindergarten, in favor of remaining in the bubble.

In counterpoint to these difficult emotions, these men also expressed joy. Pure, unfettered, contagious joy. These men were elated to reach this pinnacle of achievement in light of the challenges, and allowed themselves to freely experience their joy. Tears flowed, laughter erupted, and with his MVP and Championship trophies cradled in his arms, LeBron — shimmied. Shimmied. In an incredibly heartwarming moment, Anthony Davis expressed elation and love as he danced with his daughter as the celebratory confetti fell during the award acceptance ceremony.

Aside from the varied stats wracked up — assists, rebounds, triple-doubles — we saw Black men live out full, multilayered lives in a way that is too often unseen and unappreciated. The sad reality bound up in police violence is the dehumanization of Black people, where any gesture or action is perceived as aggressive and intimidating, and reciprocated with brutal force. The root of this problem is reading Black people as one-dimensional, with anger and violence being the sole filter by which their lives are lived.

The complexity of emotion and the freedom that NBA players embodied to openly express their feelings is inspirational, and I sincerely hope, paradigm-shifting. Black men feel, and they feel deeply. They experience love, hope, joy, regret, sadness, pain, grief, loss and trepidation. This should go without staying, they’re human after all.

While toxic masculinity runs rampant in many communities, and Black men are not immune, masculinity can be redefined and reimagined through the celebration of unabashed displays of a range of emotions instead of only anger and apathy. Black men should be given the support, grace and understanding to nurture this full expression in healthy ways. In doing so, we can continue the work of dismantling the patriarchy and toxic masculinity, and ultimately eradicate the limiting narratives and perceptions that converge to perpetuate violence against Black men.

Ivory Rose

Writing since February 2022 · 3 stories contributed