The world is paved with lanes flowing in every direction, to different places and traveled on by individuals from various walks of life. The universal rule of the road is to stay in your lane. If one must veer into someone else's, they are advised to proceed with caution, lest they get into an accident or upset other drivers.
As PRIDE month commences, it's safe to assume like the other eleven months of the year, certain individuals will (Lord forbid) venture out of their lanes to chastise or even harm members in the LGBTQ community.
Evidence of this ongoing homophobia re-emerged just recently, when the viral "Romphim" craze swept social media timelines everywhere. What started out as light humor from men and women imagining numerous thirst-traps, resultant of this adult male onesie, turned into a slew of hypermasculine distaste, a la "real men wouldn't wear that." In pointing out the faulty logic in linking one's sexuality solely to their attire, I mentioned how often DL and closeted men dress and act super-masculine to bypass discrimination, or worse. And of course users on my Facebook page rushed to condemn the aforementioned gentlemen and their DL ways.
Two years ago, Sacramento Kings player Rajon Rondo’s fit of frustration during a game against the Boston Celtics led to calling referee Bill Kennedy a f*ggot on the court. Soon after, Kennedy came out as gay. This story became a topic of discussion on my local radio station on whether or not one should announce their sexual orientation, because according to the radio personalities at 97.9 Tha Boxx, “Why do we have to know?” and “Keep it to yourself.”
My fellow heteros, "coming out" isn’t some mundane announcement like taking a snap of the bottles you bought for your kickback, or a status update on what you had for lunch.
To so many among us, "coming out" is finally gaining the courage, strength and self-acceptance to live in one’s own truth.
Unfortunately in these double-edge sword, "damned if you do, damned if you don’t," catch-22 times we live in, it’s both demanded and frowned upon for others to be “straight up” about who they are. Because it makes perfect sense to request honesty from a person about their sexuality while simultaneously reprimanding them for owning their sexual identity. It's the epitome of logic to blame someone for being dishonest if they choose to remain in the closet or on the down-low for fear of being fired, disowned by friends and family, and face societal stigma. The same truth expected of transgendered individuals before they pursue relationships, contributes to their dehumanization and death whether they disclose their orientation or not. Never mind the unsettling fact homosexuality remains a vice punishable by death internationally through law or at the hands of an unhinged individuals like, Omar Mateen, the man responsible for the mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, FL. Although there's still a long way to go for the LGBTQ population to be seen as people worthy of civil rights, the ability to just openly say "I'm gay, bi, pan, trans etc." is a stride worth celebrating. Plus, if announcing one’s sexual orientation were truly irrelevant, a lot of straight folk wouldn’t feel the need to shout, “NO HOMO!,”
“PAUSE!” or “I AIN’T GAY” to disassociate themselves from whatever activities they deem as “some gay sh*t.”
Straight people, this is not our lane because the act of "coming out" isn't about us. Downplaying and deflecting the experiences of LGBTQ individuals is the equivalent to navigating the open road without checking the side and rear-view mirrors. No other perspective, just tunnel vision, and wandering into another's path leading to more (avoidable) issues. Fact is we will never understand how it feels to fear for our lives based solely on our sexuality. We will never know the weight of being targeted and denied opportunities based on sexuality, in addition to gender identity AND race. If some of us can bask in our own ignorance and privilege, then those who decide to "come out" are well within their rights to take pride in who they are.
