*The following piece contains spoilers from Insecure, season 2 episode three "Hella Open" *

At one point in time I was Tasha from HBO's hit show Insecure, minus the annoying West-Coast accent, banking aspirations and familial ties to twerking flutists. In fact, I was actually a Mass Communications major at Sam Houston State University in 2010 working at our on-campus cafe to help fund my academic pursuits. On one fateful evening of assisting students with their meal-plans, I met my Lawrence. 

The very buff and handsomely bearded fella named –Julian (real name withheld)– approached my register and began to strike up a conversation. Soon after, the student-football player would chop it up with me whenever he visited the cafe. All of which led to a first-date at a favorite student spot, Potato Shack (known for their huge baked potatoes). In the midst of our good time I learned he broke up with his girlfriend, what I didn't know was how recent their split was. Honestly, I didn't think to ask, being giddy and all about this awesomely rare date with a guy I was genuinely feeling. Weeks later we grew closer, close enough to have a RedBox and chill evening in his dorm-room. Halfway through Halloween II (the Rob Zombie remake), Julian steps outside to take a phone-call which I would've shrugged off had it been an actual emergency and didn't take an hour and a half. He re-entered the room and told me it was his ex on the phone. Shocked and irritated at being left alone for that long for someone he apparently cut ties with, he assured me it was over. A week or so later I began hearing less and less from him until he called one day asking to meet up. He met me in the parking lot of the school's library, told me he just wanted to be friends and garnished his turd with the cliche "it's not you, it's me." Despite my anger and hurt, I made the effort to not appear "in my feelings" and said okay.

About a month later, a fellow "tea-bearing" student named Morris (real named withheld), confronted me about my brief encounter with Julian. Which was odd, considering how much I kept to myself on-campus and never talked to him about it. The mini Littlefinger revealed Julian's previous relationship ended three weeks prior to meeting me, his girlfriend (who I'd never met) found out about us and was very vocal about it on the yard. By that time Julian and his squawking gal rekindled their relationship, causing him to unfriend me on Facebook and no longer answer my calls or texts.

I guess I had no choice but to take that "L," because I got played. But did I really?

                                                                          Photo: Giphy

One would think getting played consists of (knowingly) entering a non-beneficiary arrangement and eventually coming up short. Apparently, that's not the case as shown by the contempt viewers harbor for Tasha and women with similar experiences. My question is, what did she do?:

•  Develop a sincere interest in Lawrence?
• Shot her shot persistently, then eventually (and gracefully) fell back after Lawrence reminded her he was already in a relationship?
• Willingly agree to abrupt back-shots and a possible relationship with Lawrence after swearing he and Issa were done?

If we can be real for five seconds, besides being caught in the middle of another's emotional turmoil, Tasha didn't do anything wrong. While Lawrence's intent to move on was laced with positive intent by spending time with Tasha and even agreeing to attend her family's cookout, he still screwed her over. It's been said that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."   What Lawrence and so many like him did to Tasha was on some Lucifer-levels of evil.

Rebounding is trash and selfish. Think about it: in an effort to rush through the grieving process after a break-up, a person hops into another romantic and/or sexual relationship with a third party who has or may develop feelings for them. Kind of sh*tty and self-serving, right? The idea "hurt people, hurt people" rang true in this episode. Unfortunately rather than coping with emotions that come with ending a relationship and finding some sort of closure, men (and women) who pull a Lawrence are always quick to label the Tashas of the world  "bitter" for holding onto their pain of being "played" and having to navigate the dating-world with even more skepticism thanks to people like them.

In Tasha's valid anger and accurate wording to Lawrence, he truly is a “f*ck nigga who thinks he’s a good dude.” To knowingly wreak havoc on other person's emotions is reckless. To wreak havoc on another's emotions, while making them an involuntary lightening-rod for your broken-heart makes you trash on a hundred. Tasha is a catch, with goals and like so many of us simply wants something real in a relationship.  If that's a trait worth hating Dominique Perry and her portrayal of Tasha or spending post-relationship time using emotionally bankrupt plays to claim victory over your hurt feelings you, like Lawrence, might be playing yourself.