DMX’s fiancée, Desiree Lindstrom, opened up about her life both with and without the late rapper, who passed away after suffering from a massive cardiac arrest last month.
In a sit-down, exclusive interview with FOX 5 New York, Lindstrom shared how she’s been coping with her painful and tremendous loss.
“He was my best friend, he was all I had, he was my everything, he was my world," she recounted. “I lived around him, so it has been very, very, very hard.”
Lindstrom and DMX, born Earl Simmons, met ten years ago in Arizona. Their decade-long relationship began at a Buffalo Wild Wings, where the couple had their first date.
Eventually, the two had a child together, 4-year-old Exodus.
“The first night we met and you held me close,” she wrote on Instagram following the rapper’s death. “I knew I would never let go. I was lost in you and nothing else mattered. My best friend, my baby, my love…truly my everything. Thank you for us. Thank you for Exodus. Thank you God for Earl Simmons…forever X.”
In the week leading up to his death, DMX was in a coma and in critical condition at a White Plains, New York hospital. Lindstrom said that she did everything in her power during that time to hold faith in her fiancé's recovery.
“I wasn’t giving up, I didn’t care if I was looking like a walking zombie,” she said. "I wasn’t gonna give up on him. I had hope that he was going to get up.”
Unfortunately, the rapper passed away April 9.
Just two days after DMX’s death, Lindstrom honored him with a tattoo that pays tribute to his 2006 song “Dog Love.”
The tattoo features a large X below the song’s title.
Now, a little over a month since the 50-year-old’s passing, Lindstrom says that her faith in God and her son with the rapper has provided her with the strength she needs to be able to push through this devastating time.
“Without you @exodus_simmons1 I don’t know where I would be,” she wrote in a Mother’s Day post on her Instagram. “You have given me so much joy and strength in moments that I needed it! I love you so much and I thank God for picking me to be your Mother.”
As Blavity previously reported, during the 50-year-old’s funeral, Lindstrom and DMX’s ex-wife Tashera Simmons shared a heartfelt moment where Simmons praised her for being a woman of God and for the way she loved DMX.
“I am gonna recognize Desiree,” Simmons said at the end of her remarks during the service. “Real women do real things, I am a real woman and a woman of God, that woman [Lindstrom] is a woman of God.”
“She’s in training, she’s in the works, she ain’t perfect, but she loved that man,” she continued.
On Mother’s Day, exactly one month after DMX’s death, Lindstrom said she and their four-year-old son visited his gravesite, explaining that Exodus still believes his father is coming home soon.
“He tells me now that he wants to go to heaven with his Daddy," she lamented, fighting back tears. "That he wants to visit him, and I keep telling him like, ‘You can’t come back if you go to heaven with Daddy."
“Of course he don’t understand he just says, ‘Imma be back Mommy, Imma be back, Imma come back,’ and I’m like, ‘It’s not a visit type of thing baby, it’s not a visit type of thing,’” she added.
Although the rapper is not here physically, Lindstrom says he left her both a “legacy of love” and a “beautiful son."
According to close sources, DMX was planning a surprise wedding for Lindstrom, and one week before he passed away, asked her to buy a white dress, which she thought was for a beach trip.
Ultimately, Lindstrom said that above all, she just wanted to love the rapper, who she says will always be in her heart.
“I wanted to be there for him, I wanted to love him unconditionally, and that’s what I felt like I did,” she said.
