Over 10 seasons of Married to Medicine, Toya Bush-Harris has been a central figure who’s kept viewers engaged year after year. The Detroit native is one of the doctor’s wives who has had to fight for her respect as a stay-at-home wife and mother within the circle of physicians on the show. Her husband, Eugene, is an ER doctor. And over the years, the couple’s spending habits and living situations have caused fodder among the group and viewers. With tax issues and being accused of living beyond their means, it’s not always been easy having the spotlight on them. But like a real girl from the Motor City, Toya proved she could not be punked.
This season, we see Toya branch out with her business acumen. The former pharmaceutical sales rep has always loved wine, as displayed on the show, and now she has her wine club after meeting the executives at the esteemed Kendall Jackson Winery. For seasons, some co-stars, namely Dr. Heavenly Kimes and Quad Webb, have brushed Toya off as being the “dumb” one in the bunch. Each time, she’s proven she has street smarts and a degree to back her up. And now, she can add entrepreneur to her name.
Season 10 shows Toya taking newcomer Lateasha “Sweet Tea” Lunceford into the fold as her relationship with Quad seemingly ends for good. She’s also in a stable place with Eugene. Toya spoke with Blavity’s Shadow and Act Unscripted about her new wine venture, her journey on the show and that infamous Dr. Jackie Walters controversy.
Congratulations on Season 10! It has been very entertaining so far. You all started the season with a bang. So, when the show first began, did you see yourself doing this a decade later?
Toya Bush-Harris: Oh, no. Absolutely not.
What is the best part of this experience for you thus far, and sharing your journey on the show?
TBH: I think the best part for me has been I think I’ve really grown on the show, actually. I hate to say, in the last episode, Heavenly said, ‘This show has upgraded her.’ I’m like, ‘No, it hasn’t upgraded me. But it’s just taught me a lot about about a whole other industry.’ I’ve got to know some really amazing people along the way. I have so many other future endeavors in my head now that I’m just on fire for.
Throughout your time on the show, you’ve shared your highs and lows, and we’ve witnessed a lot of trolling or discussion about your finances, as far as you and Eugene are concerned. What misconception would you like to address or clarify about what we’ve seen over the last 10 seasons?
TBH: So it’s funny because I actually have been trolling myself. I’ve been watching all of the episodes from Season 1, and I did speak a lot about finances. And I don’t know if I spoke about it in the most positive way. I think I was always talking about spending as opposed to saving, and so it gave the impression that we were spending money we didn’t have. But I think a decade later, and I hate to say that it took a decade later, but I think now I kind of look at it from a different perspective. We look at it from longevity, what we want to do with the money, and how we want to invest it. Our kids, we are setting up a legacy for them. I think it goes back to old money versus new money. I was dealing with new money ten years ago.
What do you feel you’ve learned about money on the show? I like that you spoke about new money versus old money because our generation struggles with that a lot. After all, we have more access and money, but we sometimes need help figuring out what to do with it.
TBH: I think that what I’ve learned and what we’ve learned of a couple is that the more money you get, the more you have to learn to make money with the money that you’re getting, as opposed to spending the money that you’re getting. And I think that we came into it so quickly. Ten years ago, I was in my younger 30s. And I think there was there were no classes on how to invest your money. I think over the ten years I’ve learned ways to invest that money and to make your money make you money. And I think that’s where we are now in our, you know, 40s, mid-40s, and with two children that are soon to be in high school and middle school. We’re now talking to them about their legacy and what they want to leave behind. And we have to do a better example. And it starts with your money and making your money last longer.
Real estate has also been an ongoing storyline for you, as has the number of times you have moved on the show. After building your dream home with the two-story closet that any woman would love, viewers were shocked when you moved so quickly. Will we see you guys build again in the future?
TBH: I’ve been quiet about our real estate endeavors. And I purposely don’t speak on it because I don’t want people to think that I utilize real estate as a storyline, even though it is a part of our lives. I’ve told the story before. Before I was married, I had lived in different apartments, different townhouses, and different homes. And I’ve always been in a different place and never more than three years. I guess I really never found comfort within a home. And I know most people thought that was my dream home, as I said on the show. I’ve always had larger dreams. I’ve always had a larger view. I can fall asleep, and God can show me something. And I’m like, if he shows you it, then why can’t you go after it? And so I don’t think that relocating to a new location is necessarily a negative. Especially if you’re always moving, and you’re doing it in a positive way.
Even now, we have amazing homes that we live in, but our children have changed. They change our decisions. When we decided to keep them in the school that they’re in, it’s almost 40 minutes away currently. And the more active they get, the more involved we are. And so we have to move closer to our school. I’m trying very hard to not move them as much. But my children and my husband, we all understand that it is for the better of our family whenever we do have to move.
Earlier, you spoke about what you and Eugene have learned as a couple regarding finances. You guys have been a fan-favorite couple. And some viewers and cast members have gotten on you in the past about what’s perceived as a harsh tone with him. Do you feel the show has been a mirror for you on how you handle not just your marriage but even your relationships with the other women on the show?
TBH: Well, let’s start with my husband. I will say that he married a very dominant, independent woman. And I’ve always had a certain tone. I don’t know if it’s harsh. I think it may be for the public. But I think everyone’s marriage is very different. I think Eugene has always been a very soft individual in public. But behind closed doors, he could be very harsh. I think we both have learned to put sensitivity behind the way we speak to each other. And I think that comes with time. The longer you’re in a relationship, the more you learn how to navigate your conversations.
And I think with Eugene and I, we started off this amazing couple having fun. And we didn’t have a lot of problems. But then, when problems arise and when children come into the picture, you learn that it’s more important to have the hard and difficult conversations in there. They’re not always nice and sugary and sweet. You learn that if you want to be heard, then you have to say things in a more accommodating way to your spouse. And so I think we both have learned that along the way.
As it relates to my castmates, we’ve taken the same amount of time to get to know each other. Being on television is very different from real life. I think it makes some people do things that they wouldn’t normally do, say things they wouldn’t normally say and wear clothes they wouldn’t normally wear. And I think that now that we have spent so much time with each other, we’ve learned each other outside of the television show and on the television show, and we’ve developed an appreciation for each other.
This season, we see you start a wine business. Can you tell us about your journey and how it’s been going from trying out different businesses in the past? I remember one of the things you were trying to do was infusions, and that’s still a big thing.
TBH: Honestly, the infusion idea was always Eugene’s and his business partner’s. They started in Season 1. And I remember the meeting and I was being nosey in the meeting. And I think I just wanted to be involved because I never wanted my husband to venture off into something without us being a team. But one of the things that me and him both have learned along the way is that sometimes, even though you’re a team as a family, you want to grow separately. Being a wine connoisseur has always been my thing.
View this post on Instagram
I’ve always loved visiting wineries. I’ve learned a lot along the way, but I think the wine collection with Kendall Jackson was such a blessing. I was introduced to them by two amazing individuals. And one of those individuals introduced me to Kendall Jackson Winery. I took it from there. The interview went well, and we felt that I was a great fit. And it has been a blessing. I’m doing something I love. I’m talking about something I love. And when people ask questions, you actually can give detailed information because I’ve studied it. I’ve come to a place where it’s something that I’m passionate about, and it’s not about just the alcohol part of it.
It’s about the compliment that it adds to your life and to your self-care, and also to when we’re eating. It’s been something very interesting to learn about.
I also love it because we don’t see many of us in the wine business; though we are growing in numbers, we are still the minority.
TBH: It’s so true. I remember growing up, my mother, she was a Comanche girl, and that was the extent of her wine. She would have never began drinking red wine if it wasn’t for me, if it wasn’t for her coming and seeing that we had a whole wine collection and doing wine tastings within the household. And I think that within our culture, we aren’t going to a winery; we are going to the club. And at the club, you weren’t asking for a glass of wine; you are asking for a cocktail. And don’t get me wrong, I still love a good cocktail. I actually like a cocktail before I start on my wine because there are two totally different vibes. There’s one that turns you up, and then there’s one that keeps you mellow and may calm you down. I appreciate both.
Now, let’s get into some of the stuff happening this season. There’s been a lot of talk about where Quad fits in with the group, and we know that you two haven’t always been on the best of terms. We’ve seen some things play out on the season, with her allegedly being iced out of the group. Where would you say that you guys stand now?
TBH: I really want people to understand that I have had a genuine love for my castmates since Season 1, and I want to see us all succeed. But I feel like Quad and I have gone to a place where I don’t feel the love anymore from her. I don’t feel like she wants to champion me or for my family. There’s been a lot of negativity. And 10 years later, I tend to shy away from it. We have enough drama on our show that we don’t need to tear each other down. And I just feel like that’s what we are. I don’t want to be focused on whether or not someone is saying they hate me or they like me because I don’t hate anyone. I love everyone because we’re all children of God. But I think the reality is you have to be wise, and you can only give so much grace to someone who continues to come back and attack your family.
Sweet Tea was also introduced. Initially, what was your take on her casting? We see you take a liking to her and guide her through the process, which I think is necessary for someone new to reality TV.
TBH: I told myself this season, I was like, ‘I’ve got to get to a place where I allow people to make the same mistakes that I’ve made.’ But there’s a soft spot in me that is always trying to look out for our newbies. And it’s backfired on some occasions. I’ve always been a person that has wanted to see people win. And so I don’t think when we come in as newbies, we don’t we don’t have an opportunity to self-reflect until later. And I think I’ve just been trying to be like a big sister to her.
Now, the last thing I want to ask is if you guys have been in the news lately because of the post-episode lives on social media that various castmembers have been doing. Unfortunately, Dr. Jackie caught herself amid some controversy, and you came to her defense. What is something that you wanted to say about that whole ordeal?
TBH: First off, Jackie is so respected in this industry, in this community, and by myself. And so to see her be attacked for making a mistake in her speech was hurtful because the last thing I want is to be a part of anything that disrupts a woman’s career. She has dedicated her whole life to being an OB-GYN. She has zero children, and not by her doing. But still, her dedication has been to helping women bring life into the world. And for anyone to try to tear that down over a slip of the tongue is unfair. And we have all been there. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth it.
I’ve spoken to other OB-GYNs, and I’ve even asked them what their thoughts were. And they say even this is our that. The difference between them and Jackie is that Jackie has a light shining on her being on television. So she has to be so careful. Even if they may think the same thing, they even wanted to come to her defense but couldn’t do so publicly. And they’re not getting paid for it. They’re not getting anything out of it.
I still want to believe that reality TV is a place for us to be ourselves and show our reality. I don’t want to become someone else. I don’t want to lie and speak based on what the public wants to hear. I want to be OK with the fact that people are going to love me, hate me today and tomorrow, and love me again. But I don’t want to just become somebody that I’m not. And I think when Jackie made her mistake in her wording, it is what it is, and she apologized, and it’s time to move forward.