Wake up, wake up, wake up, it's the first of the month!
If you were wondering why Twitter seemed to have less sense than usual this week, we're entering the final quarter of the year, and it appears everyone is trying to shake all the 2018 induced mania out of their system.
Let's start with the important stuff — bills, bills, bills. Rent's due, and here's a handy way to make sure you break even on your investment:
paid my rent so don’t ask me to go out because i’m in the crib getting my moneys worth.
— chy (@originalchy) October 1, 2018
Speaking of paying the price, even pigeons have to suffer the trials and tribulation of white privilege because the dove would've definitely gotten away with it.
i bet if it was a dove he woulda got away w it https://t.co/jWz3Jaafd3
— luis (@ShineMyGold) October 1, 2018
By the way, if you're staying home, there's some binge-watching to do. Fans are so Insecure about Andrew and Molly's relationship status, they're holding out food from actor Alexander Hodge!
Cashier: “$14.”
Me: “Thanks.”
Cashier: “You and Molly getting together?”
Me: “Uh..”
Cashier: “…You ain’t getting your food til you tell me.”???? #InsecureHBO
pic.twitter.com/XOOHbkT7Dn— alexander hodge 小龍 (@xrhodge) October 1, 2018
While Hodge is sitting hungry in his car, we're sitting here asking will the real John Legend please stand up?
is me, john legend! https://t.co/o1n40GRvzc
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 1, 2018
Maybe SuperBey can solve the mystery? Edna Mode said no capes, but Beyoncé…
Beyoncé https://t.co/VyWfEWe3Ac
— CorEy-spondent (@CoreyPTownsend) October 2, 2018
Speaking of mysteries, WTF happened here?
My brother just slid this under my door
????? pic.twitter.com/t5fGH0gQHh
— ???? Qaunt ????????♀️ Deerakula ???? (@QausSphene) September 29, 2018
Kanye announced he wants to record his album in Africa. Yeahhhh. All of Africa is booked, 'Ye.
We're not home. We moved. https://t.co/em5vi4zTfU
— Nanjala Nyabola (@Nanjala1) October 2, 2018
While we're on the subject of Kanye, let's head on over to his MAGA brethren. The middle of our week was interrupted when we all received the presidential alert emergency text test. We think you better call Tyrone and tell him to come get this text.
Millions of people just looked at their phone and went “ugh”. #PresidentialAlert
— Dante (@DanteNipon) October 3, 2018
“THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergen–“ pic.twitter.com/JVtAoszAVL
— pumpkin spice bussy (@FeelingFisky) October 3, 2018
If I have to be alerted personally by that man in order to survive a national catastrophe, just let me die, cuz
— Jasmine Sha-Ree Sanders (@JasMoneyRecords) October 3, 2018
This lion played all day! Y'all know that poor man had a whole accident in his shorts.
And the lion deadass thought this was funny af ???????? look at the face he makes https://t.co/MwOgdS7i3i
— loading… (@DarkeCastle) October 2, 2018
If Halle Berry can't pull out her gripping thriller wig, she don't want it.
Halle Berry when she is offered a role in a movie that isn’t about kidnapping pic.twitter.com/3hFOQDrQCG
— c (@chuuzus) October 4, 2018
And last, but not least, here's where we can direct every foolish tweeter this week. Yes, right this way:
For y’all that ain’t got none… I found where you can go to get it. pic.twitter.com/ppERv6haq2
— Southern Mocha Latte (@SuthernMocha) September 29, 2018
Liking this content? Check these out:
From Peeping Pope To Pastor Lean Back, Here Are The Most Reckless Tweets Of The Week
