One in four American kids grow up in a household where substance abuse takes place, forcing them to grow up too early, endure emotional or physical trauma, and take on the role of caregiver much too young. For spouses or domestic partners, addiction causes a tremendous amount of conflict, financial and legal difficulties, and contributes to domestic abuse.

Despite these widespread impacts, most families still focus on the addictive behavior itself, insisting that the person with the substance use disorder is the only one who needs help. After all, they’re the one with the problem, right? But addiction doesn’t live in a bubble, and in fact, some family members may even be complicit in or partially responsible for the addictive behavior, perhaps without even realizing it. Unfortunately, that can be a tough pill to swallow, especially for parents, who often insist they did everything right and just want someone to “fix” their child.