I'm a grown woman, and it's safe to say I haven't experienced a real romantic relationship until now. Don't get me wrong, I've been in situationships, uncertainships and every other 'ship that was a one way cruise to insecure and confused island. Having the opportunity to experience a good quality relationship was a big slap in the face as to why I was failing in the past. Through my current experience, it's quite evident to see where I was lacking before. Now, it's clear that within a healthy bond, the right one is always sure, confrontation is inevitable and self betterment becomes a priority due to counterbalance.

For one, Mr. Right and Mr. Certain are the same guy. In the past, I made the mistake of pursuing and falling for unavailable guys who dropped major hints that they weren't ready, or didn't wanted a relationship with me. My first mistake was pursuing; women should not be aggressively pursuing men. When a man wants you, you know it's different. He calls, makes an effort to include you in future plans and there is a sense of urgency with every response. If you're constantly complaining to your circle in the beginning and asking for advice, he's just not that into you. The smallest inkling of uncertainty when it comes to a man's interest is indication to fall all the way back. If you fall back and he doesn't come forward, you just spared yourself from time wasted.

So once your guy has expressed genuine interest, the next important aspect is communication, which will often result in confrontation. Back in the day, I suffered from severe insecurity and desperation to be liked. This combination resulted in severe discomfort and the need for validation. Safe to say, I hated confrontation and tried to avoid it at all cost. This mentality is dangerous and results in extreme insecurity and abuse. If you don't voice your opinion, the result is suffering. In previous relationships, I accepted disrespect and mistreatment due to fear of speaking up and making the person uncomfortable. Now, I address all issues at the door (head tilt). The result of addressing discomforts results in an understanding of misunderstandings. Your partner's intention may not be to piss you off; they may not even beware that certain acts would result in pissing you off. Confrontations and arguments are healthy in the building of a stable relationship. Once you feel uneasiness, address it right away and move forward.

A good indication of a strong bond results in an exchange of strengths and weaknesses. Important characteristics you possess, your partner may lack, and vice versa. Through this exchange, betterment becomes a priority. Counterbalance forces you to both level up when it comes to difficulties in life. Your partner may be more aggressive while you're more docile; your calm nature can appease him while his aggression can motivate you to stand up for yourself. Self betterment becomes the focal point of the relationship as a result of this exchange of power. In the past, I used to obsess over keeping the guy's interest or pry to confirm shady whereabouts. This mentality resulted in nothing but feeling less than and losing myself. My focus was concentrated on being liked instead of being better for me and the partnership.

The major and main difference between now and then is that I value myself more. I made my happiness a priority in life, and through that, I became a priority in someone else's. So always be certain that your partner is sure, use that mouth (mind out the gutter) and focus on bettering yourself for the greater good of each other. Before you know it, your 'ship will be sailing in a sunset of happiness.