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Anxiety, in terms of a relationship, is extremely unhealthy. It all comes about when there's uncertainty around where you stand with an individual, how that person feels about you and if you are more than just a fling to them. The feeling of falling for someone can feel intoxicating, but we all know there are two sides of the spectrum when it comes to that.
When you have doubts about what you are to someone, you begin to conjure up all sorts of ill feelings. You could go from having an amazing experience with someone to the point you almost feel drunk off of love. Then all of a sudden, you're stuck in a very sobering moment of doubt because you didn't get that text or call you desired. At this point that's when the anxiety kicks in and a sense of fear overwhelms you because you start to analyze what you think you've done wrong in the situation.
That's when you have to take a step back from everything and truly analyze what's really going on. The questions that need to be asked in this moment aren't ones that involve dissecting every part of yourself. They involve dissecting the situation in whole and coming to an understanding of what is triggering this anxious feeling you may be experiencing.
Get a notepad and pen, and ask yourself these “yes/no” questions here:
- Is this normal to feel so affected by a person just because you didn't get the response you wanted?
- Are you reciprocating the same energy?
- Is the other party aware of your expectations?
- Do you communicate in a manner that is clear, open and concise?
Once you ask yourself these questions and if you come to a realization that the answers are in fact not in your favor, you'll begin to feel a bit at ease and take the burden off of doubting self. When you are in a healthy relationship, the feeling of angst won't be there. All the mystery of who, what, where, when and why will go out the door. The thought of the individual you're dating not being as present as you'd like them to be won't be lingering in the forefront of your mind. You will have a clear understanding of how that person feels about you, where you stand with them and how to communicate in a manner that is conducive to your peace of mind.
Love will make you feel many ways, but confused isn't one of things on the list. Excitement is what comes to mind when you're in a mutually beneficial relationship, not anxiety. So make your list, check it twice and make sure you are on the right track.