We were all tuned in to Insecure on HBO this past Sunday (hell, every Sunday).

Wine? Check.

Blanket? Check.

Black Twitter? Check.

Phone on DND? Check.

Had my Insecure checklist down and I was ready to watch!

I tuned in with fake shock as our favorite homegirl, Tasha, caught feelings for a man that was emotionally unavailable.The “girlfriend with no title,” “the rebound,” “the booty call”—the list goes on. There’s no commitment on Lawrence’s end, nor expectations. Yet and still, here is wide-eyed Tasha, falling for a man who’s not over his ex.

So I’m now calling this case, Tasha Syndrome.

This struck a nerve with me, because I remember falling victim to Tasha Syndrome so many times in college. Going out on the limb for a man who wouldn’t climb a damn tree for me. I was googly-eyed Tasha, willing to just kick it and ride out for a man who wasn’t trying to settle down, or wasn’t emotionally there. So I, like Tasha, settled for the hookup and chillin' at the crib, knowing damn well I wanted the relationship. I remember acting surprised when the guy I was riding for decided he would rather ride with his ex. I got hit with the “I don’t know where I wanna be” line.

Like dude, you obviously knew where you wanted to be, it just wasn’t with me. I remember thinking to myself, “Did this fool just throw some Donell Jones lyrics at me?! Did he just… He did.”


A scene that hit home was when Lawrence tells Tasha he slept with his ex, and Tasha kicks him out. So here I am, bottle of wine in one hand (yes, the entire bottle) and Black Twitter in the other, cheering on Tasha! I related to her so damn much. I thought, “Yessss girl! You don’t deserve to just be a rebound! On to the next!”


But lo and behold, Lawrence finds a way to slide back in. And like so many "I don’t know where I wanna be" type of men, we somehow let their asses back in.

I can’t even be mad at her, because I, too, used the line, “You hungry?”

And so the cycle continues.

Tasha Syndrome is very real and damn hard to break. I, too, cooked too many meals for men who didn’t claim me. I, too, settled for just “chillin” on those lonely nights. Hell, I didn’t communicate my feelings and intentions when they told me what it was from the beginning. Lawrence wasn’t doing anything to intentionally hurt Tasha, from what I can tell, but him not being upfront with the two women in his life put a sour taste in my mouth.

How do we break Tasha Syndrome?

You live and you learn. Cliché, but spot on. I learned to break my own syndrome by being upfront from the beginning. If they didn’t want a relationship, but I did, I had to communicate that in order for me to move the hell on to someone that was on the same page as me!

Lord knows I want Tasha to win! She seems so genuine and so down, but I wonder what she’ll put up with before she speaks up?

Tasha girl, I feel you! But break free from the syndrome sis! We’re rooting for you!

Just a word of advice: Closed mouths don’t get fed…