Regina King has spoken out for the first time since the tragic loss of her son, Ian Alexander Jr., who died by suicide two years ago.
King also highlighted the misconception surrounding depression, emphasizing that it doesn’t always manifest visibly or overtly in people who experience it.
“When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way — they expect it to look heavy,” King said, according to Variety. “To have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand … He didn’t want to be here anymore, and that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey.”
She continued, “I was so angry with God. “Why would that weight be given to Ian? Of all of the things that we had gone through with the therapy, with psychiatrists and programs — and Ian was like, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom.'”
Alongside her numerous awards and accolades throughout her career, King expressed that her most significant achievement was being a mother to her son.
“My favorite thing about myself is being Ian’s mom. And I can’t say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that. I can’t do that if I did not respect the journey,” the Los Angeles native said.
During the emotional interview, King revealed the burden she still carries, questioning what she could have done differently to prevent her son’s tragic death.
“Sometimes, a lot of guilt comes over me,” she said. “When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’ I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Only me. So it’s mine. And the sadness will never go away. It’ll always be with me. And I think I saw somewhere, the sadness is a reminder of how much he means to me, you know?”
According to The Hollywood Reporter, King wanted to open up about her son in addition to promoting her new project, Shirley,a biopic based on the pioneering congresswoman Shirley Chisholm premiering on Netflix on March 22.
“I want to talk about my son,” Roberts recalled King telling her at the Oscars. “I don’t want to make him a poster child for what’s going on. I want to talk about it once and then — “
