In the wee hours of September 30th we become legendary – Luke Cage is almost here. Are you ready? The most important thing to do in a time like this is have a game plan. But first, there’s a fundamental box you must check. And it will shape the way that you experience the series, for better or worse. To binge, or not to binge? That is the question.
This is a pivotal moment in your Luke Cage Netflix show life. You can play it safe and watch, episode by episode as a disjointed, but enjoyable timeline of events. Or you can see how far the rabbit hole really goes. If you decide to binge and enjoy the fluid rush of adrenaline that you will surely never forget, you must be prepared. Welcome to my foolproof Luke Cage binge-watch training program. Not everyone will make it to the end. But those that do will cherish the information I have to provide.
Clear your schedule, immediately.
My friends, this will require time. Not a little bit of time, either. There are 13 episodes of Marvel/Netflix magic to get through. At 12:01 AM pacific time (so 3:01 AM on the east coast), the show will be available to watch. And that’s where our journey begins. So, naturally, the only thing to do is call out of work. I don’t care how you have to do it, just get it done. People like me have an excuse because we need to review the content. If you don’t have that excuse, the Ferris Bueller route may also be successful. Or hopefully, you have time off still. If you can’t make this happen, you’re dead in the water. There’s nothing I can do for you. Sorry, not sorry.
Go to sleep mad early the night before.
12:01 AM (or 3:01 AM) is technically the morning, but it will feel like the night time. Your body is probably not used to being alert and ready for action at this hour, unless it’s your routine. So as soon as you get home from work, school, etc, hop into the bed, fam. I don’t care if you aren’t tired. I don’t care what else you have to do that night. Set an alarm on your phone and catch those z’s. Do you know how many bingers I’ve seen fall asleep by episode 5 because they aren’t properly rested? Too many. Plus, if you’re sleepy, groggy, whatever-y, you won’t truly be able to appreciate the visual masterpiece that is Luke Cage. Or worse, you’ll start missing dialogue and all other kinds of plot points that are essential to the story. Don’t be a noob.
Purchase all snacks and beverages in advance. (This is very important).
Listen, this should really be self-explanatory. But for some reason, there are still people not thinking ahead. Snacks play an essential role in the binge-watching experience. Without snacks you will surely run out of energy and become extra uncomfortable due to hunger. Before you come home and sleep the night before, buy the snacks, man. Get the snacks, put them in a place that is easy to access without leaving the binge-watching station. It’s not that hard. But I guarantee, one of you will do it. It happens every time.
Also, staying hydrated might be the most important of them all. If you get dehydrated while binging, it can be a blow from which you can’t recover. Don’t make this mistake. Have the beverages on deck. The ratio of water to juice and soda needs to be right, too. If you drink too much sugar and no water, you will crash. And crashing is wack.
Use proper social media etiquette.
Not everybody else is an obsessed lunatic like us, ok? They are not up binge-watching every episode of Luke Cage. They have real life adulting to do that we have shrugged off in exchange for a day of child-like wonder. And that’s great for us. But what’s not great is if we’re all on the timeline having a spoiler-fest for the regular adults to see when they wake up. That’s not cool. So you have options. Forego social media completely and just enjoy the heat. If you trust yourself to be chill about it, spoiler-free tweets are acceptable. And finally, if you just can’t let the tweets fly, put them in a thread announcing that you’re going to be lame and tweet spoilers all day long so people can mute you.
Ok, you’re ready.
Remember your training. Be strong. And most of all, have the time of your life. If you wonder where I am or what I’m doing at 3:01 AM on September 30th, don’t. I’ve gone to be with Luke Cage.
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