You ever wonder when you'll be the top of some one's staircase?

Each relation, or relationship, we choose to involve ourselves in often ends up being preparation for the next. A building block, a step towards the "right one." think a lot of times we find comfort in believing there's always someone better for us. And perhaps there always is. My experiences tell me I am not THAT person; the one who is steadily looking for better. Instead, I'm that person who assists the other in finding their "better." Maybe you can relate.

Some of us readily jump from one interest to the next, no hesitation no second thought. Again, I am not that person. I put a great amount of effort into sharing, learning, living, experiencing, inhaling and exhaling thoughts/feelings/movements of serious potentials. To repeatedly expose that vulnerability of mine is simply exhausting.

I am a stepping stone because I am no longer afraid to be vulnerable. Explanation: When exploring the possibility of forming relationships, vulnerability is beautiful. It's beautiful if it's mutual. As an Aquarius, it's natural for me to guarded and closed. My past has informed me that those two attributes will always lead to disintegration. Within the past several years I've made an actual effort to be transparent when the opportunity arises.

Before even embarking on that journey with someone, I ask myself am I ready to give and receive love. Yes, I think about that even in the beginning stages. Why? Because I care about the feelings of others. The time to ask that question isn't when things get real.

I fail to realize that vulnerability will rarely be reciprocated. (and that's not the fault of anyone else). While I may be giving, showing and living what love means to me, it's not "normal" for that action to be returned. I often find myself loving just because I want to show what it looks like. What it sounds like. What it moves like. What it acts like. Why? Because I have never been reduced by love. Everyone should know the beauty that resides in it.

I can't help but wonder what happened to my love. The love that was shared and wasn't reciprocated. The love that was internalized by what I'd shown and applied elsewhere. Did it survive? I genuinely hope so. And no, not in the pretentious way, but in the way that means it wasn't all for nothing.

I can't help but wonder when the day will come when I no longer have to share love just to help another realize what it is….when I can share love because I know it will grow in togetherness with another's.

I believe there is a plan for our lives, far beyond anything we could ever hope for. These thoughts don't control our destiny, rather they bring us closer to it. I think we all have our moments where we doubt the sanctity of love. If our purpose, in this season, is to be the giver…then so be it. Know that pure love can never be given in vain and will return to you in whichever way the Universe guides it.

Love Languages

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