As a young, black female holistic entrepreneur, I’ve never really experienced what it truly means to be a carefree black girl, until I decided to become a nomad and moved wherever the spirit called me.

On July 20, 2017, I packed up and moved to New Orleans, after being prompted just a month earlier by what seemed to be a direct sign from the universe.

One night, as I sat with my sister and a friend at my Brooklyn speakeasy, the cocktail that I was drinking unexpectedly fell through the bottom of my glass. I screamed, and jumped up shocked from my lap being soaked. I looked down and realized that the heavy base of the glass had somehow detached from the whole cup. My company thought I was just tipsy, and spilled my drink, but what happened seemed completely impossible. I still had the other part of the glass in my hand, and showed them that the bottom part of the glass actually separated. I turned it sideways so they could see for themselves as I stuck my whole finger through. The base of the glass was so smooth that I could rub it along my skin. We couldn’t believe it, and kept trying to rationalize how it happened.

We had to accept that the universe made the glass break to make me pay attention to something.

In the moment the glass miraculously came apart, we were talking about New Orleans and strip clubs. My sister had just come back from a visit there and was telling us about her experiences. I had joked about moving to Nola to become a stripper. The stripper part may have been a joke, but the idea of moving most certainly was not.

After over eight months of financial struggle, and being unable to get a bartender job; showing up to several places for interviews, only to find them closed each time, I knew that New York no longer aligned with my purpose, and I had to move. It was wildly bizarre. If the bar wasn’t closed, my interviewer suddenly would have to tend to an emergency. This happened intermittently over a month of job hunting. I came to a breaking point, and decided to relocate to Nola. With less than $300 cash, I got on a plane for the third time in my life and left Brooklyn behind.

I arrived in New Orleans during the worst season for tourism. Finding a job in July is nothing short of a miracle, but of course the first job offered to me was a bartending gig — at one of the most famous strip clubs in the world. I was hired on my third day there.

That moment solidified my belief in leading by my intuition. Since then, I’ve been experiencing miracles everyday.

For instance, while in Nola, my sub-letter back in New York decided to up and move out a day before the next month’s rent was due. Infuriated, worried and desperate, I tried to reason with him to stay. Foolishly, I didn’t charge him a deposit, because the move was so last minute. After arguing with him, and using a little reverse psychology, astoundingly, he agreed to pay the whole month's rent, without even staying in the room! I was able to replace him with another tenant, and use the money to self-publish my Brown Girl Tarot Cards. If I hadn't moved to New Orleans, and if I hadn't been played by my inconsiderate tenant, I would have never been able to afford getting the tarot deck, I had been working on for eight months, printed.

All at once, I realized that in order for me to manifest my dreams, I had to take huge leaps of faith, leading only by intuition and listening to my higher self.

After five months in New Orleans, I moved back to New York to close out my lease. During my time in Nola, I speculated that my landlord was most likely going to withhold my $1,900 deposit. After overhearing a secret conversation she had with a roommate, I received confirmation that she was not going to give me my money back. My lease was up, and I had nowhere to go. My parents don’t believe in tarot, so I couldn’t stay with them. I didn’t have many options, and I was suddenly thrown into a nomadic lifestyle that I embraced.

For weeks, I went from crash pad to crash pad, couch to couch. I even almost slept at the port authority train station one night. With the weather being 20 degrees or less in New York, I knew I couldn't survive carrying all of what I owned, after throwing out 75 percent of all my belongings. The thought of LA popped into my mind.

Everywhere I would go, I would get constant signs of California. I would hear it in music, I would see the word on the streets, people I ran into would randomly have stories about the West Coast — references of the West Coast were all around me. I decided to listen to my intuition, and booked a one-way ticket with some of my last dollars.

As a full-blown entrepreneur and freelance writer, money comes when it comes. I couldn't let the fear of not having a stable income stop me from listening to my intuition. Again, this time, homeless with less than $300 cash, I boarded the plane, and took a five-and-a-half hour flight to the other side of the country for the first time.

This is not an easy life by any means, but every second of it has been worth it. There's going to be struggle, and there is going to be hard times. You will have to sacrifice, but the amount of life-changing experiences that I have been living, and the connections that I’ve been making, are worth every bit of pain.

I have learned that many of our blessings come in disguise, and after darkest hours.

I’m leading by intuition, and I feel even bigger miracles coming my way. Already, I have experienced some crazy stuff in just a week in Hollywood, including, meeting a screenwriter who's putting a joke I made in his screenplay, handing my business card to a reality TV star from Toronto and even ending up in VIP at a club in Beverly Hills, chilling next to comedian Deray Davis, and having to get a very drunk Damien Dante Wayans Jr. an Uber home. Days later, I met his uncle, Marlon, and twerked up on Odell Beckham.

I don't know where life is going from here. It's completely scary, but it's been pretty exciting so far! I'm trusting in the universe to be my ultimate supply, and I know that everything that I need will be taken care of. Living this “carefree” life is most definitely not for the faint of heart. It takes being fearless, aligned in your purpose and being a master manifestor of the reality that you want to see. I hope to bring my light and energy to LA as an Empathic Healer, and the spirit tells me that this is definitely part of my purpose, along this journey of finding Fontaine.

suffering and faith

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