Twitter Is Hysterically Trying To Figure Out Why Black People Don't Teach The Uninitiated How To Play Spades
We imagine there's some secret militant Spades society scrolling through this thread laughing at us all.
July 11, 2018 at 1:37 am
Spades is a tried-and-true pastime in the black community, so much so that it can be hard for people to believe there are black Americans out there that don't know how to play.
But they exist, and often keep their lack of knowledge a closely guarded secret, lest they hear that dreaded question: "You don't know how to play spades?," asked in a tone that suggests they've just shamed all the ancestors.
Folks on Twitter put in work trying to figure out just what is behind this phenomenon, with some brave souls even admitting publicly on the internet they do not know how to play the card game.
It all started with a tweet from Tuskegee's very own @Amazing_Amarass:
Black people never want to teach you how to play spades they just say “you don’t know how to play spades??” really loud after you’ve already said you don’t know how to play spades and then start telling people you don’t know how to play spades…
— Amaraaaa B. ???? (@Amazing_Amarass) July 7, 2018
Many users replied that they've experienced negative reactions to the revelation they don't know how to play spades firsthand:
After telling black folks you don’t know how to play spades. pic.twitter.com/WOzKNeji8n
— BlackRussian ????♂️ (@Handurdealt) July 7, 2018
“Bruh said he don’t know how to play spades…” pic.twitter.com/ZrPkVVJQuS
— ray (@allah_rackbar) July 7, 2018
Me:”I never breathed air before” black person: “YOU NEVER BREATHED AIR BRUH!? (loudly)
Me:”nah I’m finna die. Halp”
Black person: (to other African American) “aye bruh! This fool never breathed air befo!”
(Joined laughter on my behalf)
— Sauvignon Hughes (@sauvignonhues) July 8, 2018
A support group began to form in which people finally had a safe space to confess that they don't know how to play:
Deadass this is the current story of my life bruh ????????
— Aye Yo Jazz (@itsayeyojazz) July 7, 2018
Only one half my family knew how to season chicken and play spades ???? they ain’t taught me shit,I can’t even play bones frfr, I was set up for failure at all family functions????
— Gonzoponcho Bangin on the Bongos (@kriolu_king) July 7, 2018
and i still don’t know how to play spades…
— chloé (@Yourenotcute_x) July 7, 2018
This is low-key me.
— jazzmin. (@plxnetjazz) July 8, 2018
This is so true ????????♀️???? and I still don’t know how to play ????
— Stacey ???????? (@sdubb2212) July 8, 2018
so funny and so true. And yes. I am one of those ppl that doesnt really know how to play spades
— Tiffany Camp (@DrTCamp) July 8, 2018
Some users replied that people hesitate to teach others how to play spades not because the game is hard, but because they don't want to share their secret strategies for winning:
The real truth is , They CAN teach you! They DON’T want to take the TIME to teach you “THE STRATEGIES”!!!
— Nehkhasi Sterling (@Nehkhasi) July 7, 2018
My dad and step mom sat at a card table and TAUGHT me and my other 4siblings how to play when we were youngins. (Don’t as me now cause ion remember lol). Point being, it’s teachable mfs, just wanna be the OG and never lose.
— Archer (@NalaReigns) July 7, 2018
While other users found fault with their teachers' lack of patience:
I learned how to play spades at 11 years old. When I fucked up, you would have thought I shot somebody! My "teacher" got up from the table like… pic.twitter.com/AMo6rA03uM
— Mr. Spann (@Mr_Spann) July 7, 2018
Same with Dominos. Like are you gonna teach me or just belittle me the entire time??
— Phenicia (@__Sarabi) July 7, 2018
Legit someone once was like “you know how to play Spades, it’s in your blood.” Plot twist: it was not in my blood
— Sam (@GenderIsALie) July 8, 2018
Still others admitted that they don't teach anyone because they can't teach anyone. Why? Because they've forgotten how to play themselves:
I used to know how to play but I completely forgot ????????
— SinBad Music (@SinbadJdp) July 8, 2018
Same ???? I be clinging on to Speed, BS, Hold ‘Em, Blackjack and Gin Rummy for dear life because I forgot Spades ????????
— ???????????? (@rayofsunshan) July 9, 2018
With all that said, people began to ask for a good tutorial:
I’m tired o’ being shamed by the black community for not knowing how to play Spades. Can somebody make a thread on how to play? pic.twitter.com/OJFpSYXIK6
— +Sized???? (@MikaylaMiAyanna) July 7, 2018
It truly is a viscous cycle within our community…But, it can easily be broken with a YouTube tutorial????
— Christopher Howell (@CLloydHowell) July 7, 2018
Black people that take the time to sucessufully teach other black people to play spades need to be honored at the NAACP image awards.
— LESGOKNICKS (@clayfilms) July 8, 2018
And at least one person wrote that they've just given up:
Imma sit over here with my solitaire and be peaceful, sis. ????????????????
— YC (@justme8764) July 9, 2018
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