“We deserve more than a seat, we deserve the table.” This was the line that echoed in my head as I sketched out the plan for a pop-up dinner party series catering to young professionals and creatives of color. My goal was to set a table where diversity of race, religion, age, education, and experience would congregate and celebrate. As my sketch grew from an idea to a passion project and now to a business, I am often asked: “why?” “Why dinner parties?”
When I started TO BE HOSTED, I knew that when done right, a dinner party is a powerful place, not just for entertaining, but for sparking genuine connections with others. I knew that with the right menu, music and seating arrangements, I could create an experience with an energy so strong, outsiders might think I was serving vibranium. As I shared early iterations of my idea with friends, family and a few trusted colleagues, I heard more than once that I should do brunch, not dinner. Dinner had lost its luster among my generation. Even our favorite restaurants had stopped trying to dazzle us with dinner specials and all eyes were on brunch. But dinner deserves more credit and here are a few reasons why.
Brunch is really just for Instagram.
Brunch dates all the way back to the 1930s, but in the past five to ten years, brunch has become a social staple in American cities, especially New York. Even I had fallen victim to the brunch hype. In fact, I just texted my group chat, “where are we brunching this weekend?” And did I really just say “brunching”? Don’t get me wrong. I love sipping mimosas and spilling tea with my favorite industry friends, but does brunch really deserve all the spotlight? After all, we could go to brunch with our crew every other Sunday, sit at the same table and order the same entrée; it has all become rather ordinary. Really, brunch is just for Instagram, but dinner…and dinner parties, there is real substance there.
At a great dinner party, we can find connection, inspiration, and relaxation. We can tell stories, share dreams and be truly present in the moment. I decided we needed that. By “we” I mean the twenty-something city dwellers who are always grinding, striving and making moves on the weekend, but are eating dinners alone on most weeknights (because they have no extra funds, after-work plans or our roommates have opposite schedules). I knew it was time to show my generation the true value of eating dinner together. It was time for dinner parties to be the move again. It was time to give my peers the dining experience they deserve.
Something special happens over dinner
In the summer of 2017, I hosted my first pop-up dinner party in a co-working space in Soho. A month later, I hosted another in a filmmaker’s basement on the Upper West Side, followed by another at a private art house in Harlem. Each dinner was served with wine pairings from local wineries, live music, art and other surprises. After each party, guests expressed that they felt “refreshed” and “recharged” – all from a dinner party. Before long, social media and guest referrals turned dozens of invite requests into hundreds. My vision was becoming a reality: dinner parties were the move again.
When people come TO BE HOSTED they have a chance to escape their busy city lives and then, something special happens. They put down their phones and actually look at the person to their left or right, deciding not to miss an opportunity to talk, listen, learn and connect. There is discussion fueled by curiosity. There is laughter and, there are even impromptu sing-alongs to Erykah Badu’s "Bag Lady". There is the energy of celebration and it is just a Wednesday.
Bigger tables, more seats
As the hostess my job is simple: to cultivate an energy that feels the same but presents itself differently time and time again. My goal is always to keep people entertained, connected and present in the moment, helping them realize the true value of a dinner party and the people dining with them. It warms my heart to see my guests hosting their own dinner parties, attending dinner parties with more enthusiasm and returning TO BE HOSTED. As I continue to grow and develop the TO BE HOSTED dining experience, I know the future gets brighter when we build bigger tables and make time to eat dinner together.
